12 Things You’ll Definitely Hear at the Pool

We belong to a pool and love spending our summer days there. I’ve gotten used to the commotion that is bringing children to the pool and just cycle through these conversations. It doesn’t matter how old the kids are or where the pool is. If you’ve ever been to any pool with any kids, you can relate.

  1. “No, that’s what the sunblock stick is for. You’re not supposed to just spray them in the face.” I said this to my husband last weekend. This pairs well with “You got their ears, right?”
  2. In May: “Whew! It is freezing in here!” The sweet spot is usually mid-June and lasts approximately two weeks. By the Fourth of July pool party, it’s “Ugh, it feels like a bathtub in here.”
  3. “I just asked if y’all needed to pee before we got in.” This one kills me. Trying to help a little one pull down a wet bathing suit to use the bathroom is a labor of love if there ever was one.
  4. “Time to hop out so we can reapply.”  And then: “Turn. Turn. Now turn the other way.”
  5. “If you’re going to splash, go do it over there.” I may be in water up to my neck, but I’m not tryna get my face and hair wet.
  6. “WALK!” Is there anyone more drunk with power than a 16-year-old lifeguard with a whistle? I think not.
  7. “I promise I will go to the snack bar. For the love, just let me finish this chapter.” This tricky one almost always spirals into “No, y’all have had enough. Seriously, we’re going to have to start sneaking in our own snacks from home.” I think we’ve spent more at the snack bar than the cost of our membership.
  8. “Ew, quit drinking the pool water.” This is often followed up with “Stop spitting water!”
  9. “No diving in the deep end!” Also: “No diving in the shallow end!”
  10. “Make a decision: goggles on or off.” When I’m not applying SPF or hitting the snack bar, I’m wrestling with goggles and ripping someone’s hair out in the process.
  11. “Yes, I saw! That first cannonball was great, but you’re right, this one was definitely better.” An often necessary accompaniment is “But WALK! No running starts!”
  12. “I’ve been asking y’all for 20 minutes to get out of the pool. It is time to go!” Couple this with, “Someone needs to go gather the pool toys”, and you’ll be in your car in an hour.

Do you spend a lot of time with your kids at the pool? What did I forget to add?

Alyson lives in Metairie with her husband, Patrick, their 10- and 7-year-old boys, and their Morkie, Beignet. After teaching for almost ten years, she left a career in education, earned her BSN, and now works as a pediatric emergency nurse. In her free time, Alyson enjoys flipping furniture, writing, dancing, and painting. She is always looking for a racquetball partner and loves streetcar rides and playing board games with her family. A good cook, she is constantly on a quest to answer the age-old question, “What’s for dinner?” but has thus far been unsuccessful.

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