The Unexpected Boy Mom

When I heard my lovely doctor say “It’s a Boy!” after I delivered my first child, I was in shock. Boy? What did she say? Did she just say boy? I looked at my husband in a panic. No, that can’t be right. I was 100% certain I was having a girl. We decided to be team green, but in my heart I just knew I was having a girl. So much to the point I convinced my dad to show up and wear a pink shirt for delivery day.

But that baby swaddled up in the hospital blanket wasn’t my daughter. It was my son. The tiny 6lb baby with the lightest blonde hair I had ever seen and the most gorgeous blue eyes locked eyes with mine, and my 25-year-old self was smitten. He was my beautiful son. He was mine, and I was his. I had a son.

I was hopeful I would have more children and knew I would have a daughter. I was only 25, I was young. I had time. Right?

Three years that were full of sadness later, including months of not getting pregnant and miscarriages, I had another son. And this time, a micropreemie. A 15oz baby who restored my faith. I was beyond grateful for this blessing.

However, I couldn’t help but hold on the fact that I would eventually have a daughter.

After my preemie spent 101 days in the NICU, it took me years to warm up to the thought of having another child. But I was certain that a baby girl was in my future if we decided to go for a third.

Four years later, we found out we were adding another baby to our family. We were all excited, and I was hopeful that this was it — my daughter was coming. The idea of smocked dresses, bows, and the relationship between a mother and their daughter had me filled with delight. However, that was all a dream. The reality came when I was in the ultrasound room having my 20 week scan and the tech told me it was a boy. Another boy. A THIRD boy. I was in disbelief. I was quiet. I was in shock.

Just a few short weeks later, history repeated itself and another micropreemie was born. My 1lb and 11oz baby boy made me a proud mom for a third time. I was officially a “boy mom” and any thoughts and dreams of ever having a girl were gone.

My life with three boys is much different than the one I had imagined growing up.

Barbies are replaced with action figures, and I’ve traded ballet classes for football games. Now, don’t misunderstand me; I love my boys and my boys love me. However, being the only girl in a house full of boys can be isolating at times.

As my 3 sons wrestle with each other on the ground and pile on top of each other, I sometimes wish I had an ally in this testosterone-filled house. Just to have someone to understand me in ways my sons and husband can’t. While I can’t lie – at times I am wistful for the daughters I didn’t have, but it doesn’t come often as when my first son was born. I’m pretty content with my life, and am happy to be a member of the “Boy Mom Club.”

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Mary is a caffeine addicted boy mom to Noah, Liam and Luke. This “stay at home” mom can typically been found cruising in her minivan, jamming to Beyonce with a Starbucks in hand on her way to carpool or after school activities. Mary has been married to her high school sweetheart since 2007. She is a founder of Delivering Hope NOLA and the Vanessa Wolff Scholarship Fund at her Alma Mater. Mary is passionate in the local preemie community and has been heavily involved with the March of Dimes since her sons Liam and Luke were born premature.

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