Inseparable. 24/7. That’s how often my youngest son and I are together. Even when he is at dancing school for 45 minutes a week, I am right outside smiling through the glass window. I’ve been extremely lucky to be able to stay home with him since he was born. We are two peas in a pod. The thought of Liam starting preschool this fall brings me extreme anxiety.
This is the child that has kept me on my toes in more ways than one. Liam came into this world over 12 weeks early, and for the past 3 years, I’ve devoted my life to him. Between specialist doctor appointments and countless therapy sessions over the years, it’s hard to let him “go.” How can I trust someone else with this little life that I’ve seen learn how to breathe on his own, to waving goodbye to me as he runs to his teachers on the first day of school?
Even though I’m an obvious hot mess about it, he couldn’t be more thrilled. We have worked on potty training all summer (I’ll save that experience for another post) and have picked out special shirts and shoes for school. Liam has talked about this for months and can’t wait until September when he goes to school just like his big brother. He has been dreaming about his school and all the friends he will make. While I know I am totally going off the deep end of my crazy mom emotions, I can’t help but think about Liam in certain situations.
Will he be able to pick himself up when a fellow 3 year old pushes him? Will his teacher comfort him if he cries? Will he make friends? Or, will he feel left out? Will he stop crying once I drop him off? Or what about him getting sick? Just type out all these possibilities makes me start to twitch behind my keyboard!
I know this is a rite of passage and growing up, and Liam is ready, but this momma isn’t! While sending my oldest Noah off to school was hard, this seems to be much harder. Maybe it’s because I’ve been a stay at home mom this go round? Or is it because this is more than likely my last baby?
I just feel like this is closing a chapter of toddlerhood. We won’t be spending all our days together and being carefree. He is becoming a preschooler, and before I know it, he will be starting kindergarten in a blink of an eye.