I’m Not a Cool Mom

I’m not a cool mom. I’m a regular mom.

You know those moms … the cool ones. You’ve seen them on Instagram at least. The ones who seem to have it all together. They have perfect hair and seemingly bounce back to their pre-baby weight nanoseconds after giving birth. They’re the the ones with adorable kids donning their smocked outfits, and who can throw a birthday party for their three-year-old that rivals the best Pinterest party you’ve ever seen. Those moms are awesome, but …

I’m so not that mom.

I spill coffee on my shirt trying to get in the car, especially on days I’m wearing a white shirt. My kids look like they haven’t bathed in weeks when in reality it’s only been a couple days. I’m still carrying baby weight, even though my “baby” is almost five. Old papers have spilled out of my car at carpool. I struggle with insecurity and awkwardness, and I judge nearly every parenting decision I make.

I thought I would be a cool mom. I thought would appear effortlessly styled, leave the hospital in my regular clothes, and my children would be impeccably dressed with perfectly coiffed hair. I could not have been more wrong.

I am a full on MOM, no “cool” to be found.

I wear yoga pants almost every day yet can’t tell you the last time I took a yoga class.

Angelina’s quick “10 minute makeup routine” is my “I’m going somewhere fancy” makeup routine.

Despite my best efforts, I often show up late or double book myself.

I forget to put on deodorant (now I carry some in my purse at all times … you’re welcome, world.)

My kids don’t have the latest, well, anything. You won’t find me scrambling for this years’ “must have” holiday gift.

I drive a mom-mobile, complete with goldfish crumbs on the floors and a bag of clothes I still need to drop at Goodwill.

I wouldn’t know current fashion if it bit me on the nose.

I’m awkward in social settings and often say things that sound funny in my head, but typically come out sounding ridiculous.

I am the most regular mom who ever mommed, and I’m okay with that. I would rather avoid the expectation to be everything to everyone. You won’t find me with a perfectly curated Instagram or trying to keep up with the ever changing latest trends…unless a messy ponytail and coffee stained t-shirt suddenly becomes in style, that is.