If Dads Were In Charge…

Let’s face it. When it comes to the day-to-day operations of a household, by and large, moms are usually in charge. Yes, there are some amazing stay at home dads out there. And yes, this generation of fathers does tend to be more involved than those past. Women are capable of mowing lawns, while men can certainly play dolls with their daughters and learn to braid hair. This is NOT a post about gender roles or stereotypes; it’s just how things would go down in my home if my darling husband were left to his own devices.

With 3 small children, I will admit that I sometimes get overwhelmed by {silly} things that my dear husband shrugs off. He fields my frantic texts and endures my rants … but in reality, I am pretty sure he is secretly laughing at me and/or confused by half most of it. One night it dawned on me: this house would be so very different if he were “in charge.” I’m not talking about really huge life decisions like where to send the kids to school; of course the “big stuff” entails a conversation and joint decision making. Neither one of us is ultimately 100% in charge; this is a partnership, after all. But when it comes to the 654 little things I tackle on a daily basis, I know our life would be so very different if he were at the helm.

Here’s how it would go if dad were in charge (at least in my house)…

  • Birthday parties? Pizza and cake. Done. {Edited to add :: my husband wants you to know he actually would have remembered napkins and contractor bags}
  • Laundry? The wash and fold business would be booming. Laundromats would have free childcare, free Wifi and likely plasma TVs.
  • Teacher gifts? No need to overthink this one. 3 words :: bottle of booze. Isn’t that what everyone who cares for small kids wants?
  • Seasonal applique? Appli – WHAT?!dads2
  • Bed making (in our room)? Only on days that start with “T”
  • Bed making (in the kids’ rooms)? Hell to the no.
  • Monogrammed bloomers? File those under cash in his pocket for the laundromat.
  • Snacks in the car? Absolutely not, under no circumstances. The car is sacred territory. {Can you tell approximately how much time he spends alone in the car with them?}
  • Dinner? Meat, meat and … meat. Never mind the 3 year old who won’t eat meat. “He’ll learn to like it,” would be the logic. {Literally this week he came home with THREE meat choices and no sides. None.}
  • Holiday cards? [insert blank stare]
  • Baths? Generally optional.
  • Thank you notes? To his mother’s dismay, same as above.
  • Matching PJs? No one will ever see them all snug in their beds, so why in the heck would one bother? Are we trying to impress the baby-sitter?
  • Toilet paper, toothpaste and paper towels? This scenario actually disgusts me to consider. BUT, we’d have meat. So there’s that.
  • RSVPs? This is French to him. Literally. I am apologizing now for all the wedding and shower gifts that would most certainly not be sent.
  • Photo albums? Memories are kept in your mind.
  • TV? Yes to #alltheTV #allthetime. Our children would be well-versed in football talk. Delay of game, quarterback sneak and zone defense would be second nature to them. As they are to me. So with that…

If I am being totally fair – on the flipside…

  • The lawn? Is mowed.
  • The gutters? Are leaf free.
  • The oil in our cars? Is changed.
  • The air filters? Call me domestically challenged, but I had no idea these existed … and ours get changed regularly.
  • The kids? ADORE HIM. So we think we’ll keep him!
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Ashley is the Co-Owner of New Orleans Mom, Red Stick Mom and Lafayette Mom, now the largest network of parenting websites in South Louisiana. Proud graduates of the University of Virginia, she and her husband Blaise spent time in Tampa and Scottsdale prior to settling down back home in New Orleans, something they both said "would never happen." An avid runner, she'll try any workout at least once and is always up for sweating with friends. When she’s not shuttling her 3 very active kids to school, gymnastics or baseball, you can find her cheering for the Saints, trying new restaurants or spending time with family and friends. She's also not afraid to return mediocre books to the library before finishing them because life is too short for bad books. A native New Orleanian, Ashley loves exploring and discovering the beauty of South Louisiana through her growing children's eyes.

3 COMMENTS

  1. Hilariously true!!! We had Dad in charge two nights this week and no baths were had but everyone survived and there was no complaining from Dad so it’s a win in my book!

    • Not clear if that is a question, but yes my daughters wear white bloomers under dresses so their diapers don’t show. I generally love a good monogram on the hiney. Necessary? No. But I like it, and it does help should our daughters have – ahem – a diaper “malfunction.” Not everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s mine … and I happen to have a sense of humor about it and am making fun of myself here.

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