My oldest child is only five, so I am quite new to this parenting adventure, but I have seen more judgment, shaming, shaming about judging, and judging about shaming than I need to for a lifetime. I am so over it. Recently, I read an article posted on Salon with the tagline, “Moms who brag about being lazy and sloppy can be just as judgy as too-perfect ones.” So now, if you’re a “good mother,” you’re bad, and if you’re a “bad mother” you’re also bad. Got it?
I’m calling BS. This whole thing, these mommy-wars, these judgmental looks, words and actions are ludicrous. Enough already.
Do I parent my children the way that seems best for my family? OF COURSE. I hope you do, too. Maybe our parenting styles look different. Does that make me a worse or better mother than you? Does that mean I love my children more or less? Not in the least! It means I am a different person choosing different things for my family. I’m not parenting against you. I’m parenting for my children. Mistakes will be made. New studies will come out and tell us what we thought was right was actually wrong. Along the journey of parenthood, there are bound to be missteps, by all of us, but I know that I am doing the best I can with what I’ve got. And I trust that you are too. Can’t that be enough?
Thankfully, the backlash against these “mommy wars” is gaining traction. On March 4th, CT Working Moms and The Bump are hosting Moms for Moms Day and are asking moms across the country (and around the globe!) to share their own Mommy Truths on social media using the hashtag #Moms4Moms and tagging @TheBump and @CTWorkingMoms.
The vision for Moms for Moms Day:
“The journey to motherhood is flooded with decisions (from the type of diapers you’ll buy, to the ways you’ll feed your infant, to the sleep-training methods you’ll subscribe to) and our goal is to support, encourage and stand behind each and every mother’s choices — and Moms for Moms Day is our way of putting an end to the judgments that moms make toward one another.”
You can find out more information behind the initiative here.
How are we getting involved? And how can YOU get involved?
It’s time to share your mommy truth! Take a picture with just yourself or grab a girlfriend and snap away! Get a pen and paper, marker and sign or whatever you have handy. To make it even easier, The Bump has created free printable templates for you!
Here’s the fun part: email us your photo at [email protected] and help end the NOLA Mommy Wars. We will be sharing them on social media throughout the campaign. They can tackle serious parenting issues, or even lighthearted ones like these below. We encourage honesty, bravery and creativity! This is a no-judgment zone.
To reward you for your honesty, we are going to pick our favorite picture and give that mom a $25 PJ’s gift card! To be entered to win the PJs gift card, you must email your photograph with a “mom truth” sign to [email protected] no later than Monday, March 10 by midnight. The winner will be selected by the NOMB staff. Also, we strongly encourage you to post your photos via your social media channels using the hashtag #moms4moms and #nomb4moms, and be sure to tag @TheBump, @CTWorkingMoms and @NOLAMomsBlog.
Hmm … Too many shocking confessions that may cause people to judge me! Which one do I pick? Anyone who has met my kid will attest to how happy and easy she is but we sure do hear comments that “I can’t believe you …” We just laugh it off. If our daughter were unhappy, we would adjust our parenting!
If it helps, we as a group, all choose different things for our kids, from what they eat, where they go to school, how we medicate, discipline, etc, yet we remain supportive of one another’s choices. We extend that to all mothers, because we know that we are all in this together, doing our best. Glad to hear your daughter is happy!! Keep doing what you’re doing, Mama. And feel free to submit your mommy truth to [email protected] for a chance to win a PJs gift card. 🙂