I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling
22 34. And sometimes it’s exhausting chasing after a toddler all day. While I am very happy (and very fortunate) to be able to stay at home with my son, I must admit that sometimes the thought of returning to work and having a nanny to deal with some of the non-glamorous responsibilities of motherhood is very appealing.
When I found out that I was pregnant with my son Ben, I was living in New York City. It was a given that I would continue working and we would hire a nanny. However, soon after finding out about my pregnancy, we decided to move to my hometown of New Orleans and nanny conversations were halted. From time to time when I contemplate going back to work, I think about the kind of nanny I’d want for Ben. Then I saw a picture of Taylor Swift dressed like Paddington Bear and I thought, “Hm, I bet she’d make an exceptional nanny.”
Submitted for your consideration are ten images from Taylor Swift‘s Instagram account that illustrate why she would put the “Pop” in Mary Poppins and one that puts the “Doubt” in Mrs. Doubtfire.
1 & 2. She bakes yummy stuff and cooks healthy food.
Homemade apple pie? Healthy protein? She can feed my son any day of the week.
3. She’s super rich, so I wouldn’t have to pay her much.
Of course, she’s super rich, so she also wouldn’t need/want to take my nannying gig, but, for the sake of this post, we’ll just pretend like she would…
4 & 5. Free music and art lessons.
With the money I’d be saving on her salary PLUS the money that I would save on music and art classes, I’d be a fool not to hire her. A FOOL, I tell ya!
6 & 7. Dress-up time would be fun because she doesn’t mind looking silly.
She can be Paddington and Ben can be Winnie the Pooh. Sounds bear-y fun. She can be a Pegacorn and Ben can be a (continuing with the bear theme) Corn-on-the-Cub. (That really doesn’t make sense, but it just may be corny enough to work.)
8. When it rains, she slips and slides.
Toddler energy? Spent. After a long day of work, I wouldn’t have to come home to a stir-crazy boy who’d been cooped up in the house on a rainy day.
9. She stops to smell the roses.
Who wants a nanny who is all “Fraulein No-Joy” when you can have someone who takes time to smell the roses and probably has fun dance parties to the sound of the rain? Not me. Give me “Nanny Flower-Smeller-Rain-Dancer” any day of the week.
10. She has a strong work ethic.
She’d be able to teach my son a lot about hard work, being confident, and following your passion. Plus, she might totally adopt my family and lend us a private plane so we don’t have to worry about keeping Ben quiet when we fly. (Note: lending us a private plane is not a job requirement, simply an employer perk that would be insulting for us to refuse.)
And the picture that would make me NOT want her to be my nanny?
This one. Ain’t nobody wants to come home from work to a sugar-drunk kid jumping on furniture.
Oh, who am I kidding? My husband returns home to this DAILY. I spend more time than not feeding my son chocolate chips and letting him jump on the furniture. This is totally not a deal-breaker.
So, Taylor Swift, if you’re interested in a new line of work, the job as my son’s nanny is yours…following an extensive background search, standard psychiatric testing, a 3 month trial period, and receipt of a cover letter explaining why I should choose you for the job. (Of course, you can feel free to just paraphrase this blog post. An original song would also be acceptable in lieu of a cover letter.)
Tell us, do you agree that Taylor Swift would be an ideal nanny? If not, who would your dream “celebri-nanny” be?