I feel like a failure.
There. I said it.
Every project I’ve set out to accomplish ends up coming to a screeching halt sometime before the work is finished.
It all started with The Belly Book.
It was gifted to me shortly after I announced my pregnancy. The Belly Book had pages and pages to fill that charted each craving, flutter, and mood swing. I excitedly bought monthly stickers to place on my growing belly, photograph, and include in the pages. I finished exactly one month’s worth of pages. Those monthly belly pictures took place exactly three times – and one of those times was after several threats from my cousin and sister who needed it for my baby shower. At least the belly stickers were cheap.
I’ll knit my baby a blanket!
In the midst of the increasingly forgotten belly book, I decided to put my newfound knitting hobby to good use. I would knit my baby a blanket! I spent hours looking for the perfect blanket pattern that would work with super thick yarn and my beginner skills. My goal was to finish the blanket by the time my son was born so I could include it in his newborn pictures. I didn’t finish. Not even close. He finally received that blanket one month after his first birthday.
Oh yeah, that baby book thing…
His baby book sits on the shelf, dozens of pages waiting to be filled. The last time I opened it I freaked because I didn’t write down when he had his first smile. I could not remember! His first trip to the grocery store? No clue! I’ve resorted to shoving little mementos and photos in between the pages. Surely I’ll get to it later.
After my second Mother’s Day, I asked my husband for a “line a day” journal. The concept is easy – every day write a line about something your child did or said. After five years, you’ll have a journal that gives little tidbits for each day of the year. It’s basically a paper version of the Timehop app. Well, that journal has also been shelved (right next to the baby book and The Belly Book) because I kept forgetting to write something down. A week would pass and I’d find myself scrambling to remember things to write.
All I want is to capture my son’s milestones before I forget them.
I want to be able to pull his baby book/scrapbook/memory book from the bookshelf with a surge of pride (not disappointment) and feel as if I’m reliving those precious moments I shared with him when he was younger. Is that too much to ask?
The day I finish a project will be glorious, but I just don’t see that happening. I would love to turn this situation around and haughtily announce that I am *much* too involved in my child’s life to actually have t to sit down and work on journals or scrapbooks. I could even throw in a “I’m living in the moment, and making memories is more important than capturing them” statement for good measure. Honestly, I do not feel this way.
In truth, I feel like a slacker mom who needs to kick herself a few times, choose one project, and finish it already!