Ever had a competition with your husband as to who is more tired? I can’t be the only who has said “No, I’m MORE tired than you” during a spat brought on by pure exhaustion. This was especially true during the newborn stage when we were waking up a couple of times a night to feed the baby and while I was pumping every couple hours. Just thinking back on those times makes me yawn.
There are times where I feel we are on opposite teams, taking score of who did the dishes and who folded the laundry. The score board is filled with many categories like who made dinner, took care of bath time, drove carpool and the never ending after school activities. I know my husband and I have both felt like we were singularly running the household at times.
While he works out of the home and I’m a stay at home mom, both of our jobs have us tired by the end of the day. I remember coming home from work before we had kids and just laying on the couch watching mindless TV before dinner, but that rarely, if ever, happens anymore. Nowadays after 5:00pm, I have two very energetic boys who are begging for my attention when my husband walks through the door from work. We are then either running off to soccer, baseball, dancing or karate. Then we meet back at home to have dinner and begin our routine of bath and bed time.
In addition to trying to keep your kids clean and fed and your household somewhat presentable, there is also your marriage to keep up with. There are some days where we may see each other for an hour while one of us takes one boy to soccer and I take the youngest to dancing. I try to make a constant effort to send an email to him on days where we are running around like crazy just to stay connected. Having young children is so tiring, and it’s easy to lose yourself with giving 100% to make sure the kids never go without anything (whether it’s Pinterest worthy cupcakes for school or clean baseball pants).
My husband and I were together for over six years and married for one before we welcomed our first son into this world. While we did have arguments before starting our family, it’s been harder to manage our marriage since having two children. What I think helps me is to stop and realize that we are both in this non-stop race together, and we are on the same team even if some days it doesn’t seem like it. While I may have done the dishes the past 3 nights and bathed the boys, he was the one who made dinner and was folding the laundry.
It’s not a competition of who did more and who is more tired; this is a joint effort involving team work. We are both doing our best to make our household run, raise two young boys and keep our marriage in tact.
Do you find yourself keeping score of who does more in your household? Is marriage more trying since having kids?