Sharing my kids
I never really thought about how I would feel if I had to “share” my kids with another woman. I spent the dark days of my divorce just trying to make it through each moment, learning how to exist in my new life. Eventually, I remarried and knew it wouldn’t be long before my ex-husband did, too. Sure enough, his girlfriend and her children became close with the boys and built a relationship. I expected to feel jealous or anxious, but it didn’t come. Instead, I was excited that they would have other kids to play with and that someone with “mom skills” would be available if they needed it while at their dad’s.
Now, over a year later, they are married. She is officially their Step-Mother, and her boys are their Step-Brothers. So far, she is kind of incredible. She loves them and they love her. She respects the fact that I am their mother and defers to me on the important things. She is kind, honest and works hard to keep open lines of communication so that we can create a consistent environment for the kids. She keeps them busy, helps care for them and supports their interests. She hugs them, has nicknames for them and helps them learn how to be responsible human beings.
A part of me feels like I should be jealous. A piece of me wonders why I really love seeing them jump into her arms and yell “Hi Ms. —-!!” when she picks them up for Boy Scouts. Instead, it’s comforting and reassuring to know they are in good hands when they aren’t with me.