This season of life is hard. Between work, the kids, family obligations, and trying to keep up with friendships, we are spread very thin. So are our spouses. There is not a lot of energy to go around. We are surviving on little sleep and lots of caffeine. We are TIRED. Mentally and physically we are drained by the time the kids go to bed. Are you making time to have sex? Thinking about my own marriage and polling my friends led me to the conclusion that the more often couples are getting it on, the better they are getting along.
Just do it. Whatever it takes to make it happen, make sure that it happens. Just like exercise, sex releases endorphins. I don’t know about y’all, but I can always use extra endorphins. As silly as it sounds, when my husband and I are having a hot streak in the intimacy department, we are much more patient with each other and the kids. In the mid 30’s it’s not realistic to expect it be romantic every time. Sometimes, you just have to do what you can.
Here are some ideas to make sure you are keeping the fire lit:
- Make An Appointment. This is so unromantic, but hear me out. Life gets in the way a lot. Sometimes, my husband or I will have to just come out and set a time. It may seem like a cold approach, but it actually gets us excited. It’s something to look forward to at the end of the day or the next morning.
- Change Up The Routine. Is your spouse is in the mood at night, but you are all touched out by then? Wake him up before the kids get up. Or meet him at home on your lunch breaks.
- Wear Sexier Underwear. Look when I’m not feeling good about myself, it is hard to get in the mood. Changing up the undergarments gives me a confidence boost.
Polling several different groups of friends made it obvious that each couple’s frequency is different. Also, their frequency changes depending on the week. I like to think of it as part of my self care regime and relationship building.