If Your Husband Died Tomorrow

“I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with you…and then I realized you spent the rest of your life with me.”

When you get married and you repeat the last part of your vows, “til death do us part” what comes to mind should be growing old together. Never would I have ever imagined that 6 years later, on a Monday morning, that we would part. 

I keep thinking to myself, if I would have known that Sunday night would have been our last night together, what would I have said? What would I have done different? Would I have stayed up a little longer? Would I have held you tighter? Would I have not yelled “ouch” when you pulled my hair as you walked by? Would I have told you that you were a great father? Would I have told you how proud of you I was? 

Sunday nights and Monday mornings will never be the same for me. The truth is, nothing will ever be the same for me. Nothing. There is truth to the saying “I married my best friend.” Now he’s gone. As I look back at old text messages, I wonder if that last text about a missing vase was really that important. I think about the last family gathering that we hosted at our home the Saturday before. I think about how happy he was that he installed shelves in the bathroom and how he put together Mojo’s bike for Christmas … that I didn’t put away before he returned home. Part of me is glad that I didn’t, he had the chance to see Mojo play one last time. 

I would thank him. 

I would thank him for loving me at a time when I was learning to love myself. I would thank him for showing me how to live life to the fullest, for he truly lived his best life. I would thank him for always reminding me that as long as we had each other, nothing else mattered. I would thank him for always telling me that things would be ok, no matter how much I worried. 

People always say that there is a lesson for everything and that we should never question God. To be honest, that’s not what I want to hear right now. Let me help you out here. The truth is, there is nothing that you can say to me. Nothing. Nothing that will comfort me. Nothing that will take away the pain. Nothing that will stop me from thinking about that last night with my husband. 

Heaven gained the best dressed angel on December 23, 2019, and I know he’s up there trying to tell God what He needs to do. 

If today was your last day with your husband, what would you say? 

Photo Credit :: Stacy Marks Photography

18 COMMENTS

  1. Dear Cousin,

    This article shows your awesome strength, It choked me up. I can’t imagine what I will do if something happens to my husband. We”ve been on this journey for 36 years, our kids are grown and it’s just the two of us. From this day forward I will cherish every moment that we spend together. Here today, gone tomorrow. Know that God watch over you and your son.

  2. I needed to see this article today. My husband unexpectedly passed away on November 23, 2019. That was the day my whole world completely shattered. You put into words my exact feelings. Thank you so much for sharing this.

  3. This is to close to the heart. I lost my husband unexpectedly 2 months ago do to brain cancer we did not know he had. He was a firefighter and never slowed down. We are also expecting our first child. Your words play in my head every day. I love him to the moon and back and know hes still here in his own way.

  4. Thank you for sharing! My husband tragically passed away 2 weeks before I gave birth to our first and only child. Everyday since, I’ve thought about our last night together and wished I could change so many things.

  5. What a beautifully written piece. It was a great reminder to appreciate the little moments and to let go of things that really don’t matter. I was able to watch my parents celebrate 65 years together just before my mom passed from cancer, it was such a reminder that each day is a gift.

    Thank you for sharing your experience, I’m sure it will help many in knowing they aren’t alone.

  6. There are no words that will take away the pain that someone feels after losing their best friend and soulmate. No matter how much time God allowed us to spend with them, it doesn’t change the fact that we chose and vowed to be together til death, and now we’re left here without them. I was blessed to be married to my husband for 15 1/2 years and not a day has gone by over the last 3 years that I don’t miss him, and wish things could have been different so he could still be here with me today. Alisha, I just hope and pray you are surrounded with loving and supportive people who can help you through this difficult time! May God give you the strength, peace, and comfort you need to carry you!🙏🏾❤️🙏🏾 Thank you for sharing!

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here