You may have heard of giving your child a “Yes Day,” but have you ever thought about giving your spouse one? My husband and I recently went out of town for a long weekend, just the two of us. We’d been planning this trip for a while and were excited by the mere thought of getting away for some quality time together. We were already set to have a great trip, but for whatever reason, as we were packing our suitcases it occurred to me to give him a “Yes Trip.”
While I don’t consider myself to be especially high maintenance, I recognize that I have lots of opinions and that there are times when I’m not the most easygoing. My husband is the opposite. Generally, he is much more laid back and inclined to go with the flow. So, I decided, without telling him, that our trip would be a Yes Trip for him. I would do whatever he wanted to do without objection. I would be flexible, and my laissez-faire attitude would only lead to good vibes all around for our first one-on-one trip in years.
On the first day, he suggested a museum that I was not particularly enthusiastic about. He mentioned it gently saying, “I know this wouldn’t be your favorite, but I think it would be cool.” I didn’t miss a beat and quickly replied that I’d be dressed to go in a few more minutes. We went, and while it wasn’t my favorite, we had a great time together. It wasn’t my thing, but I loved watching him enjoy the museum.
The next day, for lunch, instead of engaging in our usual “What are we going to eat?” debate, I said, “You tell me.” He chose a restaurant that had only 3 dishes on the menu. I was nervous but smiled and assured him I’d find something and be just fine. My food was delicious, but seeing him enjoy his meal was even better.
For 4 straight nights, he touched me suggestively. I even said yes to that every time — and enjoyed every minute. You’d think that might get old, but somehow it was even more satisfying this way. This pattern of making him happy continued throughout the trip beyond our hotel room. We were alone. Everything was easy. He was happy, and I loved making him happy.
As our trip progressed, I noticed some positive and unexpected results of saying yes. He became much more affectionate — not in an overwhelming PDA way — but just in a sweet yet out-of-the-ordinary way. He complimented me often. Don’t misunderstand; my husband is a great husband, and we have a strong connection, but there was something more going on here. For me, it was nice to just sit back and not have to come up with any ideas. For him, it was nice to be able to do whatever he wanted with me enthusiastically along for the ride.
He doesn’t know that I said yes to him intentionally as a part of a plan. He never commented about how selfless I was in agreeing with all his ideas just to satisfy him. But, I know he appreciated it. I know he enjoyed himself. And, in the process, I enjoyed myself more than I could have imagined just because I had fun going above and beyond to make him a little extra happy.
Treat your spouse to a Yes Day soon. You might just enjoy it more than they do.