He is Not My “Baby Daddy”

“Baby Daddy”

We hear this often, but what exactly does it mean?

According to Merriam-Webster, the phrase “baby daddy” means::

“one who is not married to or in a long-term intimate relationship with the child’s mother”

According to the Urban Dictionary, the phrase “baby daddy” means (clean version)::

 “a guy who is a bad father with one or more kids with different women”

Two different definitions but almost the same meaning. A person who has a child out of wedlock. But why label someone as a “baby daddy?” Doesn’t it seem degrading?

I really hate this term; yes I HATE it!

He is not my “baby daddy,” he is my child’s father!

My boyfriend and I are not married, but he is not my “Baby Daddy.” He is the father of my child. We have been together for a while, almost what one would consider a domestic partnership, but I would never call him “Baby Daddy.” He is a provider, supporter, hard worker …. and he loves us more than anything. So, no, he is not my “baby daddy.”

What’s in a label?

When people are engaged and have a baby before marriage, the father isn’t labeled as the baby daddy, but rather they are the fiancé and / or the child’s father. When they get married, he’s still the father.

I am not a “baby momma.”

Urban dictionary defines “baby momma” as an unmarried young woman who has a child. It even goes on to say that she is someone who is seen as someone who has a child out of spite and just wants child support money. Webster defines “baby momma” the same way as “baby daddy.”

Why do these definitions sound so bad?

To me, it seems like an insult, like we are not as good as those who are married or engaged, to be called the father or mother of said child. This is why I hate them. We are designed to procreate; it is the circle of life. But let’s not make it a bad thing by putting a label on those who either chose to remain unmarried or who are just not ready for marriage. Even the ones who didn’t plan to have a child. Yes, they have people out there who make bad decisions when having kids, but I’m not one of them.

I am not a label. I am a mother, daughter, and friend. He is not a label. He is a father, son, and friend.

So please, can we just stop with the “baby daddy” / “baby momma” terminology?

Ja’Nae was born in Houma and raised on the outskirts of New Orleans known as the Westbank, where she still resides. She’s currently dating her boyfriend of 3 years and together they raise their daughter A’nylah. After attending Jackson State University, she moved back to New Orleans and then earned her master’s at Full Sail University in Public Relations, she currently works part-time at a local Bra Boutique where she enjoys helping women feel good about themselves. In her free times, she’s looking for the latest fashion trends, working out, learning how to organize her life, relaxing by enjoying a good movie or series and finding fun things to do with her new family.

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