Growing up, I only had my grandmother. Sadly, my father‘s parents passed away before I was born, and my mother‘s father passed away when I was four years old. I have very fond memories of my grandmother but always wished I had a grandfather. So imagine my excitement when I found out I was pregnant, and both my parents and my husband’s parents were alive and well.
I can’t lie and say that I didn’t have high expectations for my child’s grandparents. I imagined play dates, tons of quality time, and a special bond that words can’t describe. But what happens when grandparents aren’t grand?
I have many friends who complain about their parents or in-laws dropping by without any notice to see their children. My situation is the complete opposite. Trying to get my kids’ paternal grandparents to come see their grandchildren is like pulling teeth. No joke. And no, they don’t live out of town or even more than a half hour away.
When events like Grandparents Day come up at school, my kids don’t even think to invite that set of grandparents because they are basically nonexistent in their lives. And I don’t encourage it because I know they won’t show up. It breaks my heart into two. How can they not want to see their precious grandkids? It’s mind boggling to me.
It has taken me quite a few years to get past their lack of involvement in my children’s lives. I have come to accept their absence as a blessing. I would rather my children be surrounded by those who love them and make them a priority than those who don’t. It is their loss. I cannot bottle up the hundreds of hugs and kisses they have missed over the years.
On the flip side, I am incredibly blessed and thankful for my parents. They are incredible grandparents and cherish each of my children beyond words. They can’t go more than a couple of days without seeing them; it warms my heart. Their involvement is above and beyond of my expectations and definitely makes up for the lack of their other grandparents.