Doing What’s Best For YOU – Ending a Toxic Friendship

I won’t bore you with the story of a friendship that went sour.

I’m not here to convince you that I was right, or that they were wrong. Most of us can admit that at some point we have felt betrayed by a friend. We have felt abandoned, forgotten, left-out, or uninvited. This isn’t about understanding that some friendships won’t last, but questioning why we allow it to affect us so much when it doesn’t work out. Why do we spend so much time wondering how or why someone could treat us so badly? Who are these people that we allow to take away minutes from the days we’re already struggling to get through? If we’re constantly begging for time to slow down, then how can we mentally give our time to someone so undeserving? Why are we the ones left wasting time trying to figure out where we went wrong? It’s not our job to figure out why. It’s only our responsibility to walk away, and figuring out who we should be walking away from.

There’s a difference between bad first impressions and giving someone the benefit of the doubt.

A first impression stems from a moment, a mere glimpse into who someone may potentially be. We can only trust our first impression so much. Sometimes we are right; more often, we are wrong. Giving someone the benefit of the doubt comes more from our instincts and intuition. It usually means you have seen someone act in a way that made your red flags start flying. We all want to believe the good in people, so you swallow your doubt and give them another chance in hopes that you may have read a situation incorrectly. Always trust your gut! You have those feelings and suspicions for a reason. Sometimes you don’t allow yourself to see a side of someone you purposely didn’t want to acknowledge, because you knew it would end a potential friendship. However, if that friendship has you questioning yourself or where you stand in someone’s life, WALK AWAY! If your friends don’t notice your quiet retreat, it clarifies that you walked away for the right reasons. People know when they are leaving someone out, and they know when they are hurting someone. You will always have the ability to be the bigger person, and you’ll never regret believing yourself.

You are never wrong for pulling away from someone who pulls you away from yourself.

Repeat that out loud. Say it with me. “I – AM – NEVER – WRONG – FOR – PULLING – AWAY – FROM – SOMEONE – WHO – PULLS – ME – AWAY – FROM – MYSELF”… or from your family, job, friends, or peace of mind. I will say this realization stems from when I was wronged so terribly that I was paralyzed with confusion for days. That was until I realized those were days that I allowed someone else to take from me. I was madder with myself than I had ever been with them. That’s when I  told myself to get up and move on. So… I did. Now, I’m here to assure you that you can move on too.

I’m not saying we all need to be the perfect friend or that we need to find the perfect friend. I’m just trying to say it’s ok when a friendship doesn’t work out. Don’t waste your energy trying to fix something someone else broke. We already don’t have enough time in our day, so stop giving your time to wondering why someone has wronged you. That’s one more second to give your child a kiss, or one more minute to tell your husband that you love him. It’s a few more hours to get laundry done, and it’s an entire day to feel good and positive. At the end of the day, we’re all trying to be better at time management, so let’s try to manage not to waste our time on people who don’t deserve it. Life is precious, and so is our time… spend it wisely.