Friendships are hard as you become an adult … at least, they are for me.
For some of us, making friends is hard from the very beginning. I remember back to fourth grade specifically where I had three best friends. The good news is that I remained good friends with two of them through high school and I still keep in touch with one through Facebook.
Through my teenage years, I had plenty of friends come and go, and I always wondered why. Was I doing something wrong? Was I not a good friend? Was it just a season of life thing? Do I just have too high of expectations?
As I have gotten older, the yearning for friends, specifically a best friend, has only gotten stronger.
Making friends as an adult? For me, it’s like brushing my teeth while eating Oreos. I am an extreme introvert and have anxiety with social situations. This causes me to be socially awkward which, in turn, makes friends hard to come by. Still, I question why I don’t have a group of friends, or that one best friend, that I’m constantly hanging out and doing life with. I have come to the conclusion that life throws you curveballs and puts you in different places and seasons which affects who you are friends with and who you are drawn to.
2017 was a real eye opener for me.
Personally, it was the hardest year of my life. I expected my friends to show up, and I was heartbroken when they didn’t. I may have set my expectations too high, but it still hurt when they were not there for me. If we’re being honest, it still does. I don’t want to have to be the one who is always calling and texting, reaching out to hang out to only being shot down.
I want a friend that is there always and that makes it a priority to be a friend. Friendships are hard work, and require love and time
on both sides. So maybe I’ll never have that group of friends I want or dream of. Maybe I’ll never have that friend that I really do life with. But that’s okay. I’m done with the one-sided friendships and I want to make sure that I’m putting that time into those relationships that are important to me.