Divorce is not something you think of when you go into a relationship. If that were the case, no one would ever get married. I was young and dumb, to say the least, got married at 22, had a baby at 25. Fast forward ten years and my now ex-husband packed up half our house and moved 1,000 plus miles away. I was broken, angry, and downright grieving my marriage that once had so much promise. I felt the worst for my son. He was only 6 when his dad left so we were on our own to figure out the world, just us.
It took me about 2 years before I was able to bring myself to even think of a man as something other than an awful specimen or to get over the mentality that every man I talked to wasn’t a narcissist. I know all men are not like my ex. I know there are good guys in the world, but I was not in the right mental state to even think that way. I finally went on a few “dates” which were okay but would always turn to the end of the night, which in turn meant, your place or mine.
Am I selfish?
While trying to navigate the remaining men still available, I had a child at home. Does it make me selfish to want to go out and try to meet someone? IT ABSOLUTELY DOES I would always tell myself. Mom guilt is HARD and REAL. I realized that in order for me to be happy, I needed to be happy with myself. So, I pushed the mom guilt aside, went through a bit of an enlightening period, which then led me to a man that changed my mindset.
Boy was I blind-sighted by this one. My girlfriends and I try to get together once a year at a halfway point between New Orleans and Houston (where they live and where I lived the majority of my marriage). We decided to stay at L’Auberge in Lake Charles. We went out, gambled, drank, and danced our little hearts out. While there, I happened to be on a dating app, because why not, and landed on this super cute, blue-eyed babe! We met up the day I was leaving to head back home and just kept talking. Here we are, 2 plus years later, navigating a long-distance relationship. Is it hard? TOTALLY! Is it worth it? ABSOLUTELY!
My son has a great relationship with him and he is great with my son. While trying to explain to an eleven-year-old why he is so far away is a challenge, it is our challenge and we take it day by day.