Why The Bikini Is Not For Me

We are beaching it right now in beautiful Destin. Every year since the kids have been born, we come here to have a little fun in the sun. Our family loves the beach. When I was a little girl my family always vacationed once a year to the beach. I have such fond memories of those trips and I’m glad we are creating sweet memories for our family to cherish just the same. Packing for a beach trip means lots of sunscreen and swimsuits because we pretty much stay between the pool and beach all day long.

20140920_104330I love splashing in the waves with my babies, building sand castles and looking for sea shells or crabs on the shoreline. Seeing the joy and excitement in their faces warms my heart and I don’t want to miss a moment. So I don’t, I make sure I have on my sunscreen and a great swimsuit to play just as hard as they do each day.

“So I recommend having fun, because there is nothing better for people in this world than to eat, drink, and enjoy life. That way they will experience some happiness along with all the hard work God gives them under the sun.” ~Ecclesiastes 8:15 (NLT)

I am going to be completely honest (and I don’t think I am alone). I struggle with insecurities about my body. I have come a long way and lost over 80 pounds, but slipping on a swimsuit is certainly not a time when I feel most confident. In fact, it’s more like a time when I feel you can see all my flaws concerning my body. I’m not one of those moms that ever did or ever will be rocking a bikini (and no offense to the ones that are, rock on momma). What I’m trying to say is if I personally wore a bikini, I would be lying poolside trying to make my belly look as tone and flat as possible. I wouldn’t be the one playing in the pool with my kids or chasing crabs on the beach because I would be so self-conscious about how I looked or what other people thought (like that should even matter). Honestly, if I wore a bikini, I would suffer because I would be trying to suck it in all day long. What’s worse is that I would regret not taking every opportunity to create and make those lasting memories with my kids.

The Three Reasons Why I Will Never Wear A Bikini

Reason Number 1 :: My Kids

I’m a mother to a 3 and 4 year old. They are always running, which means I’m always chasing. They tug and pull on me and my swimsuit constantly, and I’m definitely not interested in having any type of swimsuit catastrophe. Like I said earlier, I want to play and have fun, not worry about constantly fixing my swimsuit or covering myself up to hide all my insecurities.

Reason Number 2 :: My Kids

Having back to back pregnancies, 12 months, apart really did a number on my body. At my heaviest weight, I hit the scales at a whopping 230 pounds. I eat healthy and workout, but my abs are playing a good game of hide and seek – meaning they are hiding and no matter how hard I try, I can’t find them. Maybe one day, I will have six pack abs, but unless my hubby takes me on vacation to some deserted island (sans kids), I personally don’t see me ever wearing a bikini. It just isn’t a goal I have. Don’t get me wrong, finally seeking my abs is a goal, but sporting them in a bikini is not a goal I desire.

imagejpeg_0Now with that being said, I cannot believe I am actually going to put this picture on display for the entire world to see. Getting healthy was a goal I set for myself. I workout and wear clothes that compliment my body (I’m not trying to accentuate the negative parts of my body). My friends often tell me, “you could wear a bikini, you totally have the body for it.” They just have no idea about the loose skin that hangs around my mid section; no matter how much hard work I have put into my lifestyle, that skin won’t tighten up. I honestly should embrace the skin and let it serve as a reminder that my body is a beautiful and amazing thing that carried my two most precious gifts in my life. So let me take a deep breath and exhale and show you that even though I workout and eat healthy, my body is not perfect. This is probably the HARDEST thing I have ever posted, but this is REAL life, and I hope other moms can relate. Please keep your judgment and negative comments about my picture to yourself; I can assure you I’m my own worse critic.

Reason Number 3 :: My Kids

I know there will be mixed opinions regarding this next issue, but I do not want my daughter wearing a bikini. I personally feel like the message of TV and magazines today focus too much on showing more skin and of course being super (almost unhealthy) skinny. We have already established I am self-conscious about my own body. My daughter notices everything. She recently has been saying, “I want to be just like you,” which just melts my heart. If I were to wear a bikini, I know she would want to wear a bikini also. I know at three years old there isn’t any real harm in her wearing a bikini, but in a few more years, it may only serve as a reason for her to be self-conscious of her own body which could lead to body image issues down the road.

These are the reasons I choose to be a bikini free mom. Yes, I do have insecurities about my body (now on display for the entire world to see), but I will never let that stop me from making memories with my kids. I never want to have regrets that I missed opportunities to share special times with my children over my body image issues. My kids could care less what I look like in a swimsuit as long as I’m right in the action along side them in the pool or at the beach.

Bikinis, takinis or good old one pieces – which do you prefer and why? What is your stance on letting your daughter wear a bikini?


  1. You’re awesome for being brave enough to share this! :o) After having 4 kids, losing 50 pounds, and making good fitness choices for the past couple years, I realize that my abs will be hiding behind my loose tummy skin indefinitely. :o/ But oh well, I’m learning that even though I can’t see them, I know I’m working my booty off, and I am stronger, fitter, and more able to keep up with those kids than ever before. Congrats on the hard work! Keep it up! :o)

    • Tisha, thanks so much for all the kind and supportive words. It is nice to know other moms can relate and way to go on your weight loss and healthy lifestyle. We are strong moms raising strong kids because they watch every single thing we do!

  2. You are a beautiful, amazing woman and a great Mom. Read that again. And again. And again.

    I think the perfect swimsuit is the one you are most comfortable wearing. Not long ago, I saw a woman in a bikini that looked like she was going to fall out of it just standing/sitting still. When she got in the water with her kids, I was truly concerned that she was going to have a major wardrobe malfunction.

    I think you are on the right track. Spend as much time making happy memories with your kids. If that means you never wear a bikini, so be it. I think I wore one when I was little, but once I became a teenager, I never wore one. As an adult with a few extra pounds and two young girls to raise, it’s not a priority for me either.

    Thanks for being brave enough to show your body to the world. It is a perfect body. You are a beautiful, amazing woman and a great Mom. Keep up the good work.

  3. Awesome post Janie – and you are a hot mom, so be proud! Everything you said resonated with me. Add to it a worry over sun exposure and I am quite happy to keep my little girl covered up. This year Cora rocked a little skirt bottom and 3/4 length sleeves shirt top as her bathing suit. It was a true “bathing suit” but was both modest and offered some extra sun protection. I hope she’ll be happy to wear this type of get-up for years!

    • Thanks Courtney for the sweet comments. I’m sure Cora looked precious in her bathing suit and I totally agree with you about hoping our little girls will be happy wearing the things we pick for them for MANY years to come!

  4. Thanks for the inspiration. I am currently all about one pieces. I tried the whole bikini thing in college and in the beginning of my marriage (which was only three years ago and almost two years of marriage) I was constantly worried about how I looked in a bikini. I have never felt so beautiful in one pieces, glad to know o have someone else out there that thinks one pieces are just as beautiful and sexy as the two pieces.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here