I remember the exact moment I knew I needed glasses. It was in 6th grade Science class when the teacher was writing on a projector with a dry erase marker, remember those? They wrote on a clear sheet and it projected up on the wall. Whiteboards were not a thing yet, and chalkboards were still the norm. I was taking notes and squinting so I could make out what she was writing. It was so frustrating.
So here I am, 12 years old, on my way to the eye doctor to get glasses. Ugh! Just call me FOUR EYES!!! To say I was excited would be a big, fat, lie! Glasses were such a nuisance to me, I have what one would call, uh, uneven ears…is that a thing? Besides this lovely observation, I also started to have pain on the tops and sides of my ears from holding the big ole things on my face.
The BIG 1-3, my parents let me try contacts. Now, picture this…I am a promising young lady, ready to show off my face again, and BAM…I realize I have to actually touch my eyes to put contacts in. Do I really want contacts? Yes, yes Jeanne, you need to grow up and do it.
My poor Father y’all, he had me in our kitchen, mirror propped up on the inside of a cabinet, and had me practice with my contacts. Not many of you know me, but I was somewhat of a drama queen back then. I am SOBBING in the kitchen to my dad about how it hurts, and I am scared, and I don’t want to touch my eyes, blah, blah, blah. That man made me take out my contacts and put them back in over and over until I had no issues. It felt like days when it probably was only a few hours.
Fast forward to today, I made the decision to have LASIK surgery. It was a long time coming as I have been in glasses and/or contacts for 25 years. It was time. The procedure itself only lasted about 15 minutes, but when they tell you “Oh it isn’t that bad” they LIE! It hurt, a lot. They put drops in my eyes but either they didn’t wait long enough, or it was just that painful. I was under the first laser which creates the flap, there is a speculum to hold your lids open, and then down came the suction. HOLY FIRE BURNING! Ok, cool, that part was done, then let’s just slide you on over to this other laser that is going to repair your vision. The smell was, interesting, the pain, just as bad. Ok, thanks, you are done! PRAISE BE!
I get to the car, MORE HOLY FIRE BURNING! The burning eyes lasted about 8 hours; can you imagine having something on fire in your eye for 8 HOURS? No, ok well, it is awful. I came home and took Tylenol PM and slept it off.
My procedure was on a Friday, the next day my vision was clearer, but still blurry and a bit of burning, Sunday, perfect vision. Out of habit, I had reached for my glasses on my nightstand that morning, but I opened my eyes and could see crystal clear. You don’t realize how something so small as being able to see a clock clearly matters.
Do I regret it? Absolutely not. Would I do it again? Hell yeah, I can see clearly for the first time in I can’t even tell you how long. Do I wish someone would have been honest with me and told me the actual pain I would feel was going to take my breath away? You better believe it. Well, I guess I am still a drama queen.
