As I write this, I am 36 weeks pregnant with my second child, and I have long ago reached the point in the pregnancy that I have been dreading. I have reached the point where my life completely revolves around my bladder. During my first pregnancy, I didn’t realize how much pee played a factor into pregnancy. I should have known. After all, the whole experience does begin with pee when you pee on a stick and impatiently wait for a positive sign. This time around, I was well aware of the ball and toilet chain that is the third trimester.
The first trimester, when the progesterone kicks in and you are constantly visiting the restroom in between waves of nausea, is a mere glimpse of what is in store for you come the third trimester. From peeing in a cup at your doctor’s office to (if you are a worrier like me) constantly checking the toilet for signs of something that is going awry, the need to use the bathroom plays a huge part of a pregnancy – but no more so than in the final weeks.
To drive home this point, here is an abbreviated version of what my day looked like last Friday ::
7:15 AM :: Alarm goes off. Wake up. Pee. Wake son up to pee. Fix breakfast. Dress son.
8:15 AM :: Pee. Make son pee before leaving for school. Drop son off at school.
8:30 AM :: Go to Target. Immediately head to the bathroom near the entrance. Shop on first floor. Take escalator to second floor. Visit second floor bathroom. Shop the second floor, waddling because there is already pressure on my bladder to pee again. Go downstairs to check out. Visit first floor bathroom. Leave.
10:00 AM :: Drive home to put shopping bags away. Leave bags at the door. Pee. Put shopping goods away. Do some housework.
10:50 AM :: Time to leave for OB appointment. Pee before leaving.
11:15 AM :: Arrive at OB office. Request a urine sample cup upon checking in because I need to pee again. In the bathroom, reminisce about the beginning of the pregnancy when peeing in the cup wasn’t such a challenge because you could see the stream past your belly. With a large, 36 week belly looming over the toilet, I wrap the sample cup in paper towels, squat and move the cup around until I don’t hear water splashing.
11:25 AM :: Drop off my pitiful urine sample (since most of the sample missed the cup) and park in the waiting room with my computer. Begin to write this blog post. Drink a few sips of water. Pee once more before I am called into an examination room.
12:30 PM :: Get called into examination room. Resist the urge to pee on myself as OB presses abdomen during exam.
1:00 PM :: Schedule my next appointment. Pee. Drive to my mom’s house to pick up son.
1:30 – 7:30 PM :: Put son down for nap. Pee. Do some work on the computer. Pee. Do laundry. Pee. Wake son up from nap. Pee. Put together puzzles with son. Pee. Friend calls and invites me to movies on Saturday. Tell her that I will take a rain check until I have use of a full bladder. Go outside and watch son jump on trampoline. Explain to son that if I jumped on the trampoline with him I would have an accident. Go inside to start cooking dinner. Sneeze/Pee combo. Change clothes. Pee. Pee. Pee. Pee.
8:30 – 11:30 PM :: Put son to bed. Watch TV with husband. Pee once (or twice) per show. Fall asleep.
1:00 AM: Wake up to pee.
2:40 AM: Wake up to pee.
4:00 AM: Wake up to pee.
5:50 AM :: Wake up to pee.
Preparing for Baby? Pshaw!
Some people say that the constant need to use the bathroom is Mother Nature’s way of preparing expectant mothers for the ’round the clock demands of having a newborn. To that I say, “Pshaw!” I think the constant need to use the bathroom is Mother Nature’s cruel joke because there is nothing funny about being denied a solid night of sleep before having to endure weeks and months of waking throughout the night to feed and soothe your bladder bully (otherwise known as your baby).
Now, excuse me while I go to the bathroom.