One Mom’s Take on Three Kids Versus Four Kids

If you have three kids or have ever thought about adding that third kid to your family then I am sure you’ve seen the articles on how hard having three kids is. Maybe you have also heard from friends who echo that three kids is just hard. I think there are many reasons for this but one of them is definitely being outnumbered. We became a three kid family in September of 2016. We didn’t have your average two to three kid transition though. Our daughter was born with an unexpected diagnosis so we had the added pressure of specialists, testing and fearing for her life and the quality of it.

Last year my husband and I started tossing around the idea of adding a fourth kid to the family.

We had some immediate hesitation, of course, because of our previous experience when we transitioned to three kids. Ultimately, we decided to trust God with what he was putting on our hearts and go for four! Five months ago, our fourth baby arrived and I wanted to share our experience thus far. Obviously we are still settling in, but I had a couple thoughts so far on this transition compared to our last one.

When I went into labor, I had this fear come over me. What in the world did we just do? How am I going to handle four kids? I think we have lost our mind. (Let’s be honest – we have. Ha!) I think it’s normal to question and be scared of the future when adding another human to the family. It’s just part of our mom heart that makes us fearful but we pull it together and realize our family wouldn’t be complete without the newest member. Sure, we may be a hot mess. It may be louder, more chaotic and less organized. Our grocery and laundry piles may have tripled. The exhaustion may be unreal. But every single moment is worth it.

Four hasn’t been as hard as I imagined in my head. We definitely have our moments and get overwhelmed. The kids have meltdowns and jealousy. You have to plan more and having the bigger kids is a game changer, but so far? Four is definitely easier than three in my opinion. The hardest part is juggling everyone and their needs but the big kids kind of have this understanding that they may have to wait a few minutes longer but their needs will be met.

The best part? So much love.

I never thought I would be one of those people with a big family. I thought I would have two kids and call it a day. But God had other plans for our family and I wouldn’t change them for the world. Thinking of these four growing up together and being best friends warms my heart. Imagining them (in thirty years or so) having families of their own is incredible. I am so glad that we didn’t let fear and the unknown hold us back because then we would have missed out on this experience.

Danielle is married to Ryan and together they have four beautiful babies. They're raising Lexi, Abram, Sutton and Beckham on the bayou in Crown Point. She is a self-proclaimed hot mess, Jesus-loving, homeschooling, Netflix binging, crafting and party planning stay at home mom. Sutton was born with achondroplasia dwarfism so advocating and raising awareness is important to her. Most nights once the kids are asleep you will find her staying up way too late to enjoy the quiet that happens after four kids.


  1. Hey Dani,

    It takes 5 to make a basketball team, OK.
    Aunt Moe and I are available for babysitting on the weekends whenever you want.



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