They say hindsight is twenty-twenty. Well now that I am snuggling with my baby on a regular basis, I can officially say something that I felt the majority of 2017: I hate being pregnant. I vividly remember blurting out to my husband during one of our evening walks while I was pregnant, “I HATE being pregnant.” He looked at me, but didn’t say anything immediately. After a few minutes, he cautiously asked, “Why? You haven’t had any issues at all. You didn’t even have morning sickness.”
He was right. By all accounts, I had a wonderful pregnancy. I didn’t experience nausea, any type of complications, and still managed to workout at Orange Theory Fitness, modified of course, twice a week through my thirty fifth week of pregnancy.
Let me start by saying that I was thrilled to find out we were pregnant with our first baby and am even more smitten now that she is here. And throughout my pregnancy, I really tried to live in the moment and embrace my current life stage. However, as much as women talked about pregnancy, all I heard about is the glow. I personally think there were a few items they left out, and I feel like I need admit them for all the women out there feeling similar but afraid to say it out loud.
As I recently perused my IG account, I longed to have the body of Summer Sixteen. Yes, everyone knows you supposed to gain a certain amount of weight during this time. But I have to admit, for the majority of my adult life, I have focused on losing weight, eating healthy, and exercising to reach certain body goals. It was like these disappeared overnight. I, all of sudden, had a constant hunger that couldn’t be satisfied and weight was appearing everywhere – in places I hadn’t seen since my awkward teen years. I knew it was a temporary state, but I certainly was not ready for the emotions that would come with the weight gain and feeling like it was completely out of my control. Up until about 20 weeks, I had a weekly crying session about how my clothes no longer fit and how I just keep getting bigger and bigger.
I heard about the crazy hormones, but I wasn’t ready. And neither was my husband (hence his hesitation to my statement at the beginning of this post). I can’t even count the number of times I had completely blown up about the smallest things, then I come back 2-3 days later to say that I had an out-of-body experience and it wasn’t really me yelling at my husband, but someone else I’ve never met. Someone please tell me I’m not alone here. Exhibit A: Weekend walks with our black lab in City Park or Audubon have always been part of our weekly routine. It typically started with us getting out of the car, my husband allowing my dog to do his business while I grabbed a bag, and me giving him a bag to pick up said business. This day was no different, except I stepped in my dog’s poop. Even that wasn’t too different; it’s happened several times in the past when I haven’t been paying attention. But on this particular day, you would have thought the world was ending. And as my husband laughed at the situation, once again, normal, tears welled up in my eyes as I screamed at him to stop laughing and then literally stormed off for 5 minutes pacing in the middle of the park before I was able to rejoin him. He patiently waited, but who was I? I didn’t know this person at all!
Everyone loves the thought of a new baby, myself included. And in hindsight, I am guilty of doing this in the past, but I cannot begin to tell you how many people come up to me and want to ask me the famous “how are you feeling” question. Well, I’m fine. And if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be in said situation. And let’s not forget the other slew of questions: “do you know the gender,” “do you have names picked out,” “how long are you taking off,” and the list goes on and on. I am thrilled that my family and friends are as excited about this as I am, but as the girl who passed out not once, but twice, at her own wedding due to the large amount of people present, this amount of attention was not my jam.
Weird Bodily Functions
I’m going to breeze over this one, as no one needs to hear the details of these but there is a much longer list of potential issues beyond nausea that no one talks about. These include extremely bad heartburn, constipation, lightheadedness, a newfound insomnia, and the worst gas you’ve smelled, or so I’ve been told. The worst part: most over-the-counter medications that would quickly solve these issues can’t be taken.
I recognize that just like everything else, pregnancy is a different experience for every single person that goes through it. Looking back, I am completely okay with admitting how much I did not enjoy that stage, but six weeks into motherhood, I can say it was all worth it. I might even be willing to go through it again in the near future.