Mother’s Day is a day to celebrate being a mom and to thank our own moms for being amazing.
It’s a beautiful time. Everyone wears their pretty outfits, goes out to eat, and some get to relax by not doing anything or even taking fun trips. As mothers, we do so much so it’s well deserved to have a day to just be honored.
Is it wrong of me to say I don’t truly look forward to Mother’s Day? It’s so bittersweet for me. I love being a mom, but celebrating a day without my mom is really hard.
My mom passed away some years ago. And every Mother’s Day, I avoided it like the plague. I stayed off social media, turned my phone off, and worked the whole day just to keep my mind off of not having my mom around. I cried in remembrance of her and seeing all my friends with their moms made it worse.
It never really crossed my mind that years after she passed, how I would have a child of my own, and how I would be celebrated on a day that I just didn’t want to celebrate. The past three years on Mother’s Day, since having my daughter, have truly been nice. It’s a nice distraction from not crying the whole day. However, I still am not able to enjoy it how I want, because my mom is still not here. I don’t have the little moments of seeing my mom hold and love on my daughter. I can’t have the crazy arguments that most get with their moms as “why my baby doesn’t have on an undershirt,” or I’m not doing something the right way and getting shoved to the side hearing “move, let me do it.” I’ve been being a mom without my mom, and I do not like it.
I have family that loves my baby and me, but again, it is not the same. They are living their lives and being celebrated. Who am I to spoil their day, and be that person to be all emotional on a day that’s supposed to be happy and cheerful?
So, I’m sorry that I am not the most excited to celebrate Mother’s Day. It’s not the easiest day for me and that’s okay. Hopefully, I’ll be able to embrace it and continue to learn how to deal without my mom.
To all the moms out there celebrating without their mom, I know how you feel. It is such a bittersweet feeling. And if you love this day, I’m so happy for you! If you feel the same way as I do, it’s okay to feel that way, too. Life is challenging and we learn ways to cope every day. I hope that one day we learn to enjoy this beautiful day and embrace it, because well we deserve it.