When you’re pregnant, you have all these ideas of the mom you hope to be. Hands on. Crafty. Home cooking meals. Hand sewn clothes. PTA Mom. Room Mom. These ideas meet a hard wall when you’re a working mom. The balance between Mom, Wife, and Career Woman is like juggling. Each woman is different. Personally, my mom was so hands on that I absolutely wanted to do the same. I also saw how thoughtful my mother-in-law was with my husband, sister-in-law, and me. My career path is a demanding one. Small business owner and physician. There are a lot of demands on keeping my employees employed and happy, as well as doing my best when treating patients. I am very crafty. I love to cook and bake. Decorating and making things has always been a passion. It’s a passion that I did not always have the time to do with school and training. Once I became a mom, the love and intensity to do it all came on full force.
Trying to Do It All
With my daughter, I did the monthly cute growth photos with descriptions on social media. It was so fun to dress her up. Family and friends near and far loved the updates. Every holiday, I threw myself into making her little baby life amazing. Every new food, I cooked, pureed and packed it for daycare. No one put the demands on me. No one asked me to boil chicken at 9pm, process it and puree it so that we could expose her to that new food. Was it exhausting? Hell yes. I put the pressure on myself and I didn’t mind. I love being hands-on. However, yes I did feel the guilt of being a working mom. I could be doing charting or going to seminars to perfect my craft. I do those but I make being a mom my top priority.
There is No Competition
When my daughter started school, some stay-at-home moms were sending gourmet food and handcrafting notes. I could see how a lot of my fellow moms felt about the competition. THERE IS NO COMPETITION. We love our kids. I loved how they did things. I wanted to do the same but sometimes there wasn’t time. I sent homemade lunches and my kid didn’t eat them because she likes warm food. No thermos was warm enough for her. So guess what? I became the mom that sent sandwiches, hummus and mac-n-cheese. That is ok! I felt so guilty at first, but then I looked at my daughter, she was happy! I feel like being a parent caused some growth in my self-esteem in a positive way. Many people have asked me why I do so much, but I honestly have a physical reminder in front of me saying “Thank you Momma” or “So cool!”
Be Creative and Don’t Apologize
There are some days where I’m working till after 5pm or having to go see patients at the hospital over the weekend. It happens. I feel the guilt of not being around my kid, but I took an Oath to help people and I take it very seriously. I love my job. I love my patients. I love my employees aka work family. I just love being a very hands-on mother. I make it so that I work my schedule around taking my toddler to ballet and swimming; I want to be there. For her birthday, I literally stayed up until 11 pm for a whole month crafting her birthday party decorations on my Cricut. It was fun being creative. Coffee helped every morning but I worked all day, came home to play with my daughter and husband, cooked dinner, then craft. Could I have paid for someone to do all those things for me? Of course. There would have been nothing wrong with doing that. I just love being an active part of my and my child’s life. So hey Martha Stewart, hey Mary Poppins, Mommas can do it all. No guilt here … well most of the time.