I Am Not Ready to Come Out

Now we are moving into Phase One in reopening the city/state. It is what we all have been waiting for, some sort of light at the end of the tunnel of this weird end of the world feel we have seen so many times in movies.

Now, I am suddenly not so ready.

It has been quite an adjustment to this social distancing (don’t get me started on homeschooling), but after a while, my anxiety started to decrease knowing my family is home and safe. When I or my husband leave the house to get groceries, we are careful to avoid exposure or to expose others.

With this new phase, things are changing yet again. At the same time, us going out to see if we can handle social distancing and precautions in a “more relaxed” setting is giving my anxiety a new boost. Not so much for me, but the kids and my husband.

First off, I don’t know about your kids, but mine are not very good at social distancing. They know what it means and why, but 10 minutes into any encounter they are handing you something or wanting to whisper something in your ear–exactly the reason they have not seen many people unless there is a physical barrier.

My husband is conscious about wearing a mask and washing his hands, but if he is back at the office, I can see (and understand) that the mask is not going to stay on all day. Plus, he wears glasses, and that we know is a nuisance.

I know this is my anxiety speaking, but I am very worried about letting my family go out there again.

Now that the school year is almost over, we are looking at summer camps and seeing what it will happen with that. To be honest, I REALLY would love for them to have other kids and activities outside the house and with kids their age (I know they would, too), and my husband will have to go to the office, and I have a job too.

I know camps will take the necessary precautions, but we are talking about kids here… see my point before.  This new kid version of COVID is very scary. So, do I go with my paranoia and don’t let them leave and drive each other crazy at home and give up trying to work?

Do I send them out and pray? (doesn’t feel very responsible) This is a very hard decision to make, plus not sure how understanding these places (meaning my husband’s office, camp, which we already paid for, the gym, etc) will be for the hesitant ones. If businesses open up, there will be no “excuse” to hold back.

What is the next right move? Will we/I ever be comfortable again with letting them run loose? Will we be patient with the ones that need more time to get out?


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