Dear Girlfriends: When I Turn Inward

recenteringA Letter of Thanks

Dear Girlfriends,

I’m sorry. I know I’ve pretty much disappeared over the past few months. I hate to say I’ve been busy or stressed or any of the excuses about being overwhelmed because you are feeling all of these things too. You’ve got a lot on your plate as well. And you are still communicating with everyone and doing playdates and being sociable. I am envious of your ability to reach out when you are under pressure.

When I become exhausted – I don’t reach OUT, I turn IN.

I turn inward instead of reaching out because I have reached an overload – like feeling too much. Sometimes my usual coping methods don’t work – exercise, diet, medication. This emotional crash has happened before more than a few times, and retreating inward and re-centering on the heart of what makes me balanced makes me a better person and friend in the end.

When I’m re-acclimating – so to speak – one-on-one communication is much easier. So, when I’m not responding to group emails and texts, it’s not because I am flaking out. I have never been a big group message girl. Getting bogged down in my psyche makes this group communication even harder.

Thank you for knowing that I love each of you and emailing and texting individually makes it easier for me to come back out of my shell.

This semester, I stopped carpooling after school for the first time in three years, and I miss your children and seeing you at pickup from activities. Not having multiple extracurriculars during the weekdays is helping me concentrate on each of my children individually, though. I am remembering what I love about being a stay-at-home-mom.

Thank you for understanding that my children need me to be focused solely on them.

Weekends are difficult to plan mommy date nights. My husband has a wonderful job for a company that we love and coworkers (and their wives) that we enjoy. But he is gone from home a LOT. I can be reluctant to go out with y’all when he is home. I am still crazy about him all these many moons later.

Thank you for knowing that focusing on my husband and me as a couple helps me find that girl inside that is confident and outgoing.

You are wonderful girlfriends. I love each one of your personalities and eccentricities. I have talked to a few of you about my fall withdrawal, and you have encouraged and reassured me as I find my core again. Like my mom and my sister, you are part of that core – you are the voices of reason and the voices of passion that help me know who I am. I am sorry that I have not been as engaged with you over the past few months. I am grateful for your support and understanding, your consistency and your strength.

Some of you, like me, are on that extrovert/introvert border – that line of needing company but craving solidarity. Whether you’re extroverted or introverted or somewhere in between, you are not alone. You may not need to find yourself in the same way I do, but how ever you may need to rediscover your inner self, know that you have a supporter for you cause.

The cause of womanhood and motherhood needs its champions. I thank you for being mine. I will be yours.


Every Mother


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