Dear Fellow Moms, I’m Not Envious of You

It starts with a post about a new promotion at work. Or a photo of an amazing date night. Or a video of a child reaching a milestone ahead of schedule. Then, the creeping feeling that starts in your gut and works its way to your head takes form. Suddenly, you’re not happy. You find small things in your life you wish you could change. Focus shifts from your life to the lives of others.

Envy.Envious

Jealousy.

The green-eyed monster.

It’s all the same, and coming from experience, it looks good on no one.

When I first entered this crazy adventure called motherhood, I expected many things. One thing I didn’t expect; however, was the fact that I would find myself sucked into the comparison game. Who fit into her pre-baby jeans first? Whose child started crawling/walking/talking/potty training first? Whose house looks more put together? Who had the most fun today? Whose life seems the most awesome? You get the picture. Usually motherhood advice started with “well, my child…” and ended with the feeling that I was failing at parenting.

A time or two I got sucked into the comparison game and couldn’t even recognize myself. I started to create a mental laundry list of things I didn’t like about my life. I felt my happiness slowly leak out of me. Who was this green eyed monster staring back at me? I had to snap out of it. I took a good long hard look at what it was that I envied most, and you know what I did?

I changed my list to a plan of action.

I didn’t like how I fit in my clothes, so I started going to the gym and watching what I ate.

I wished for a more put together life, so I organized my house room by room.

I wanted more family time, so I planned day dates and small family trips.

I. Put. My. Phone. Down. (Seriously, this does wonders)

My entire attitude toward envy has changed. Honestly, I use it as a driving force.

So, fellow moms, I can wholeheartedly say to you that I do not envy you. I don’t allow myself to get sucked into the comparison game. I don’t wish for what you have. If there’s something I don’t like about my life, I dig deep and change it. If there’s something I want for myself or my family, I go out and get it.

That green-eyed monster isn’t getting me again.

jaimemackey
Originally from Florida, Jaime has lived in Southern Louisiana for most of her life (so, that makes her a local, right?). She currently resides on the Northshore with her husband and son and teaches high school English. An enneagram 5, you'll most likely find her doing hot yoga solo, on her phone researching a random topic or sitting in the comfort of her home with coffee and a book within an arm's reach.

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