How Do You Say Goodbye?
My grandmother passed away recently. She was opinionated, strong, stubborn at times, but boy did she have a heart of gold. She gave to many charities including the Second Harvest food bank on a regular basis. She spread her light to many people over her 86 years on Earth and this will be a hard one to get over.
I wasn’t ready when I got the call to notify me that she passed. While I am grateful for the many years that I was able to spend with her, and I am glad that her illness wasn’t prolonged, I often find myself asking how I am supposed to live in a world without her.
I’ve had to explain her passing to my children which was extremely hard. They are so strong and resilient, but as their mom, I feel that they lost a small piece of their innocence.
My grandmother and grandfather chose not to have any funeral or memorial services in their honor. Growing up, they often said, “If you can’t visit me when I’m alive, why should you visit me when I’m dead?” I can’t help but agree. Instead, they decided to be cremated and wished for their daughter and grandchildren to take a cruise to dispose of their ashes. Cruising was their favorite thing to do before my grandfather’s death.
So how do we say goodbye?
I’ve asked this question to myself several times, and the only answer I can come to is – we don’t. We say, “We’ll see you later.” This was my exact response to my youngest when she asked when she could see Grammy again. I explained that while God wasn’t ready for us in Heaven yet, he was ready for Grammy. And you know what? I guarantee she is cooking up a big pot of chili and a batch of peanut butter cookies waiting for us to be reunited one day. Until then, she’s dancing with my grandpa and her family that passed before her. She’s watching us from up above like the angel that she has always been. She’s laughing with others as they do puzzles and telling them, “There’s never a dull moment,” as she often said to us here.
We don’t say goodbye because I have to believe in my soul, that this isn’t goodbye. And when it is our time to reunite, that day will be perfect and a reminder to us of all the weekends spent at Grammy’s.
