I’ve had this date penciled in my planner for weeks … well months actually. I’ve made sure to wear cute panties, get a pedicure, and shave my legs. These days, though, that’s not the norm with 2 small kids so once a year, I go all out. And who is it for? None other than my OB/GYN for my annual check up.
Preparing for the Big Day
You know the drill. You put more effort into this 5 minute doctor visit than your latest date with your husband. Even though you will strategically place your panties UNDER your nicely folded clothes, you certainly chose one of your best pairs just in case the nurse and/or doctor would see it. And you know those toes that you have neglected for weeks on end? Yeah, you have those piggies polished up nicely because you don’t want them seeing any long talons in those sexy stir-ups.
And you, of course, go in with freshly shaved legs because you don’t want them to see any stubble … am I right? And while we are talking about it, you have made sure that downtown is looking good as well. Which is rather hilarious considering you have been up close and personal with this doctor over the years since he/she has delivered one or more of your children.
The Anticipated Visit
So after you pee into that tiny cup, strip down into that oh so flattering crinkly paper hospital gown, you then sit and sit. I personally am a ball of nerves during these visits. I mean even though I’ve had countless pap smears of the years, it’s never a fun time to get your cervix scraped of cells. But hey, it’s one of the those things you just have to do.
While flipping through the latest magazine that was left in the exam room, the nurse and doctor finally come in. I sit there pretty much frozen while she performs the exam and just lay there like a statue while trying to make funny conversations instead of focusing on what is currently happening. While I know this is something she does on the hour, it’s still one of my most nerve racking experiences for me. Month after month, I’ve seen this date circled in my agenda, and I’ve spent more hours than necessary grooming myself for this appointment for it all to be over in a few short minutes. While I’m sure she didn’t see the non-everyday panties I’ve chosen or the perfect summer polish that is on my toes, it sure does make me feel a little bit more at ease while I’m laying there completely vulnerable on that exam table.
So til next visit … I’ll make sure to be ready in every way.
Mary, this cracked me up!!