I recently had a big reality check. For so long, I’ve been trying to figure out being a mom, get back on my own two feet, and be able to live a comfortable life and great example for my daughter. I’m not really where I want to be in life, but I can somehow work with what I have at this moment.
A little background
Before I had my daughter, I could buy whatever I wanted, go where ever I wanted, and not have to worry about anything. I was never a planner, budgeter, or even an organizer. This may sound like an excuse, but I was never really taught these things. I was one to just wing it or go with the flow. That’s probably why I’m always late for work and events. I honestly didn’t think I would need that in life until she was born. She’s two now, and having that same thought process is definitely not working.
The reality check
Just last month I realized that I can’t do this anymore. I’m always stressed, I get in depressed moods (a lot lately), I’ve gained so much weight, and I just don’t have the motivation to really want to do anything. It was until I had a chat with my daughters’ teacher, she’s doing way better by the way, that I was not catching up on payments for the month, and everything was just going downhill from there. Her dad was upset with me because I’m not being myself, and I tend to shut down or get angry. That’s not me. I’m someone who enjoys life, has so many goals, and wants to have the opportunity to enjoy her family. Where is that person?
I was chatting with a friend and she was helping me with tips on how to better organize, plan, and budget. Small steps. But as we were chatting, a lot of things stuck with me. One thing that really took a grasp on my mind was letting go of things. Not mental but physical things. I explained to her that I know I need to clean and have some organization, but I don’t know how to get rid of my clothes or even my daughters’ things. She explained letting go of things can be hard, but having a clutter-free environment gives you clarity, and you feel good. I also recall hearing and reading about that from Marie Kondo and the Home edit, so it’s legit.
The day I let go of some things
After our chat I thought about it, I really don’t need all things to make me happy. It’s clutter and it’s really messing with anxiety. So, I just started. I started with my baby’s stuff and had the chance to donate them. And it felt amazing. I’m in the process of working on my stuff also while learning to budget.