“Your Child is a Reflection of You” :: The Struggles of a Mom With a Messy Kid

When my daughter was born in June 2010, I had high hopes for pretty bows, mommy and me outfits, and a constant stream of runway-ready looks. BOY was I mistaken!

I taught her about personal hygiene (as a parent does) very early on, but my almost 10-year-old walks to the beat of her own drum.  She just doesn’t seem to care that her hair isn’t brushed, if she’s had a bath, if her clothes don’t match, or that she is not dressed for the current weather.

On any given school day, it is a struggle to make sure she is leaving the house looking put together. This may not bother some, but let’s face it, some adults are judgmental. Unless you have a kid that argues you down about why their hair doesn’t need to be combed for the whole week or why it’s okay that they have on shorts in 30-degree weather, you don’t get it.

My first thought is always “The people at your school will think I don’t take care of you.”

You always hear people say your kids are a reflection of you. I’m here asking on behalf of the messy kid’s moms of the world, PLEASE DON’T JUDGE.

We have argued about why baths are important. Daily contentions on hair. OH, THE HAIR!!! My mini has beautiful brown super curly hair, and if you see her, 9 times out of 10 it is in a bun on top of her head. Depending on the day of the week will depend on how fuzzy said bun is.

As a parent, you just want them to look their best, for themselves and so judgmental “Karen” isn’t talking about you in the school hallway.

This whole “messy kid” phase (lord, please just let it be a phase), has been going on for a few years now. So to my other mommas out there, struggling like me, know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Word to the wise, pick your battles. I have refused recently to argue about hairstyles daily. I do it as best I can on Monday and pray it holds up. By doing this I have found that she has started to try and fix stray hairs herself, so maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Vianca Price
Vianca is a very social Afro Latina, millennial mom, wife and grandma. She hails from a small town in Central Florida and landed in Southeast Louisiana purely by accident. She has lived a whirlwind life and is a very proud woman in long term recovery from drugs and alcohol. She and her husband, Will, currently reside in Ponchatoula with their youngest daughter, Selena (the mini) and their three dogs. Vianca enjoys all the wonderful events Louisiana living has to offer. She and her mini can usually be found at any number of local events, living their best lives. She is very passionate about health and wellness journeys, which led her to starting her own meal prep service, Keto Kween Vee. Her mission in life is to help others.


  1. Thank you for this post. I feel you! My daughter is 11, has curly hair, has sensory issues (hair brushing is painful for her), and is a messy eater (that’s the habit I most wish I could change). I worry about mean comments, but I’m often proud that my daughter is such an individual and cares way less about what others think than I do. I learn a lot from her!


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