Reflections of an {Unintentional} Stay At Home Dad

Reflections of an {Unintentional} Stay At Home Dad

Late last fall, my group at a local bank was blindsided by the parent company’s decision to promptly exit the business lines in which I was involved. Meaning, I’d have no employment come mid-December AKA the holiday season. I was irate, mainly because of how it was handled, but at the same time, I was strangely okay with what was transpiring. I won’t go into the details of how poorly the events unfolded as a whole, but I will say that you learn a lot about people in situations like that.

In an attempt to stay glass half full and optimistic, if you will, I took that time away from a traditional office job to transition and figure out the next steps in my career and what path my family would now traverse. But first? I became the, albeit temporary, stay at home (super, dare I say) dad.

What follows are some of my observations during my unexpected tour of duty on the homefront. And if I offend anyone, apologies in advance (read: sorry, not sorry). I hope you enjoy!

  • Laundry & Dishes :: a wise woman once told me “make the house work for you,” which is code for “don’t eff up my system” but also means be smart about what you can do to maximize time and effectiveness within the house. As a male, I – of course – did not listen, thinking “I gots this and don’t need your input, thank you very little.” I made the mistake of letting laundry and dishes back up once. And only once.
  • Breakfast Chaos :: As a dad who was out of the house and at his desk before dawn in my former career, I was blissfully unaware of how chaotic the morning routine is. I honestly believed that breakfast was a peaceful time; the kids would get up, get dressed, eat and then be off to school. What I learned was that TV commercials are full of crap. Kids (well, my kids at least) don’t wake up chipper and come running to the kitchen praising you for selecting Eggo Waffles, the right flavor Pop Tarts, or getting their favorite cereal ready. No, that is 100% false. Instead, the kids come shrieking into the kitchen at a million miles per hour and then the insanity begins. Watching young kids “eat” also gives me hives. I don’t understand how something so small can make such a huge mess. How’d the red sauce end up on the wall? Why is there peanut butter all over the bar stool?
  • Carpool Crazies :: Carpool makes people crazy. Period. End of story. It brings out the worst in humanity. If you drive around Old Metairie, where I learned this hard lesson, between 7:45 and 8:30am Monday through Friday, you are putting your life at risk. Rewind a bit to my previous notes on breakfast and one can immediately relate to the reasons that every parent is on a military-style mission to get the troops deployed and in the hands of teachers (seriously, bless them). There is also an unspoken rule on how to properly run carpool (or maybe a better way to put it is that there is actually a written document somewhere that details in precision how to drop off your children, but I 100% didn’t see nor read it so … I plead innocence.) Early on in my tenure as a stay at home dad, I accidentally “cut” in line during drop-off. Huge mistake. HUGE. Word to the wise, fellas. If you do this, you have committed a cardinal sin and are liable to find a severed horse’s head in your bed next to you, Godfather style, courtesy of the Mommy Mafia.
  • 2 Pac Makes things Better :: Find yourself stressed out or needing to take the edge off before it is socially acceptable to imbibe? Crank up some 2 Pac and watch as all your worries melt away and you can slip back into the early/mid 90’s. A true lyrical genius with some of the greatest songs. You’re welcome in advance. #PictureMeRollin
  • Wine Time :: I now fully understand … but while candy is dandy, liquor is quicker.
  • Post Carpool Workout :: 8:30AM Hour Blast Metairie became my jam. And now I sound like my wife, but I’m okay with that. It was a perfect time to unwind and destress … to clear my head and reflect from the chaos. While I can no longer attend my leisurely class, the times were great, ladies. Certainly better than the pre-dawn 5:15am schedule I am on currently.
  • Grocery Store Runs :: Costco is nothing other than a sign that God loves us. The cart size is amazing and fully capable of housing multiple kids AND groceries. Sometimes you need more than one cart – one to keep the heathens, I mean children, at bay … and the other to shop. Don’t judge. Been there, done that. Got the lecture for it, too. And then there is Dorgniac’s. I cannot be trusted in the wine / beer / liquor and cheese section. Also, Boar’s Head meats all day long. I go in for fruit and veggies, and I come out a few hundred bucks poorer … but rich with booze and cheese.

My unintentional stint as a stay at home dad gave me a glimpse into what the past seven years have looked like for the Mrs. I will ultimately categorize my tenure as a stay at home dad as being highly successful, enjoyable and memory-making, but I’m ready to get back to the office! Peace out. #OfficeLifeForLife


  1. I read this blog every day and not sure how I missed this story! I LOVED IT!!! Your honesty and sense of humor is to be praised. I know that many wives would kill for their husbands to see what a day or possibly even a week looks like for them. YOU have lived it AND did a FREAKIN great job at it! The best part is that you now understand all the your wife has gone through. Thanks for sharing! Best wishes on getting back into the office!

  2. This article reeks of sexism, and I am not here for it. Talk to me about how after you went back to the office, you realized the incredible demands and decided that you could continue buying the groceries, washing the dishes, and doing the laundry. Talk to me about how you decided that you understand mornings are crazy, and so you began intentionally assisting with school preparation to make mornings easier on your wife and kids. I am not here for your condescension about the leisurely, post-drop-off work out being better than your 5:15am work out — do you know for whom your 5:15 am workout makes life less leisurely? Your wife.
    And another thing — for all the dad readers who are stay-at-home by choice or not by choice but for a more extended period: you’re doing great by your family. A stay-at-home-dad choice is not a less-than choice, despite how this article is framed.

    • Hi Kim! It seems my husband’s sense of humor was lost here, likely because you don’t know him personally. I felt compelled to share, though, that as a full-time working mom of 3 I pretty much landed a unicorn with regards to how much he contributes – regardless of his employment status or decision to work outside of the house or not. He folds more laundry & washes more dishes than most humans of any gender, cooks often, handles grocery shopping, is also the sole individual in the house who irons (including all of his daughters’ dresses) and his baking skills far exceed mine (I don’t even try any more). I can understand why his humor may not be funny to those who don’t know him personally, but I’d also encourage you to consider that the only types of people who could “pull off” joking about some of this stuff are those who are truly in the trenches with us day in and day out. Otherwise, you are right – it would be pretty tone deaf. All of that said, since you seemed concerned about whether he is still helping after he went back to the office … the good news is that we are still a functional dual income household laughing our way through life together.


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