A Day in My {not so} Glamorous Life

Social media, while it certainly is a wonderful avenue for support, can also be a place where we second-guess and question ourselves as mothers. When we see the perfectly coifed offspring of our “friends” with their precious, unstained smocked clothing and the bows that are perfectly placed in their well-groomed hair, snacking on apples dipped in organic peanut butter … well, it can make us look at our nearly naked sons (because the stained clothes are strewn about our living rooms) with orange fingernails from their afternoon snack of Cheetos, and we will ask ourselves “am I failing at this??” No? Just me. Well then, enjoy a day in my very UN-glamorous life.

6:20 am

George’s obnoxious alarm goes off. I really need to remind him to switch that to the peaceful harp I have my phone set on. However, I never technically use my alarm since switching to part-time when the kiddos are my alarm. Lucky me.

6:40 am

Now that George has left and the house is once again quiet {I always wonder, “does he really not hear how loud he is?!}, I hear phantom baby cries. The kind you hear in the early stages of parenting because let’s face it, newborns cry so much that it is just eerie when they don’t. Can’t decide if it’s a kid calling me or just my imagination to I squeeze my eyes really tight and try to catch a few more zzzz’s

6:50 amdayinthelife

That is most certainly a real live child screaming “MOMMY!” That’s right, my 3.5 year old does not get out of his bed; he calls for me to come get him. I have never uttered the words “you can get yourself out of your bed,” because, bedtime. So yes, it is him, and I must retrieve him before he wakes his 2 year old brother in the other room. I creep along quietly down the hall like I’m maneuvering an obstacle course because of that squeaky floor board that I only manage to walk on when I need to avoid it. Crap, I hit it. And just like that, #2 is awake. Mental note :: how much would it cost to repair said floor board(s)?

6:55 am

Bring the boys in my bed for cartoons so I can get ready. This totally consists of brushing my teeth and throwing on workout clothes. Yoga pants, y’all. SAHM’s basics. Then I have to dress them. Fun stuff trying to get my two year old to sit still.

8:00 am

Head downstairs for breakfast. My youngest can eat like a horse, so I scramble some eggs and give him a banana. I seriously do not know where he puts it. My oldest cannot make up his mind, and since we have discovered the kid’s Cliff bars, that is what he ends up choosing 9 times out of 10. Get everything loaded and let the dogs out once more then we hit the road for Jack’s 2 year old pictures in New Orleans. Take said pictures with the very talented Victoria of VCB Photography and decide to take the boys to Palm Tree Playground to reward their great good behavior.

11:30 am

Head back across the Causeway in hopes that if I sing loud enough, the boys will stay awake and nap time will not be a crisis. #momgoals Ten minutes from the end of the bridgen and #2 is out cold. # 1 is chatting me up the whole way. Get home and put both boys, who are now awaken to bed. #2 stays awake in room chatting for an hour and half. Hey, he never cries so I figure he is good.

2:30 pm

Kids are awake. My oldest is starting to raise his volume on the 5th “mommy,” so I realize I better pause “Love it or List it” and retrieve the children. After snacks {popcorn, which wound up all over the floor, in tiny pieces}, we head outside to play with the water table. I feel like some sort of dictator who is ruling over cave men. They always want the same cheap piece of plastic and will play tug of war until one’s hand slips and falls flat on their bottom/face. Mark is older, but Jack, well he eats, and is certainly strong. It’s always too close to call. I referee for a while but it’s going pretty well until they both climb into the water table with tennis shoes on. No problem, right? As I said initially, my kids love being naked so we strip down and bring out the kiddie pool.

4:00 pm

The kids have been playing outside in the water for over an hour now. That guarantees early bedtime, right?! They both seem to have settled on some toys that are “theirs,” and between the water table and pool, I am not having to referee as much. I let my guard down. Rookie move. I look over and Jack has something that is most definitely NOT the same dirt that he is covered in head to toe. It looks more like … well … yep, it’s definitely poop. I run over to discover poop all over the pavement, and he obviously climbed into the water table for a little cleanse. It is literally everywhere. I scream. The dog runs over and eats said poop. You cannot make this stuff up. I hose down the culprit and instruct him and his brother to sit still on the deck while I deal with this. Ha. As if. I manage to get everything hosed down, and every time the dog inches closer, I just spray her because, gross. I pour bleach on all the toys because I really don’t want to throw it all away. Something else you should know about me: I’m incredibly frugal.

5:00 pm

The kids are dry and playing in another part of the yard. I am confident the bleach has killed the poop germs and we head inside for dinner. #2 (appropriately called) decides he doesn’t want to eat. I can’t blame him; I have lost my appetite as well. So I clean him up. Have I mentioned he is the messiest eater. Ever. #1, my picky eater, decides he doesn’t like red beans tonight but he is crying because he wants Easter candy. I stand firm that he does not have to eat dinner if he isn’t hungry, but he will not get junk without eating his dinner. He then cries because he wants to eat but he wants me to feed him. I refuse because he is a “big boy.” I clarify that only babies need their mommy’s to feed them and that babies actually wear diapers. Rookie move again. He calls my bluff and asks for a diaper then throws a fit when I wont put him in one. Then he goes on a rant that he will “sink” {yes, I tried to correct him that it he means “shrink”} if he doesn’t eat. Maybe we have been too forceful that the only way he will grow to be big and tall is if he eats. Exasperated, I ask again if he is going to eat. He throws a fit so I, in a very Mommy Dearest moment, throw his dinner away and tell him he gets no bedtime stories tonight either. Mother of the Year.

6:00 pm

We head upstairs for bath time. Some parents hate this time of the day. I, on the other hand, love it. It’s the home stretch. Since I am laying it ALL out there, I do have to say that my oldest, came up to me with puppy dog eyes when we got upstairs and asked if I would hold him. Of course, I was happy to. I explained that he wasn’t getting treats or stories tonight because he made some bad choices, but that tomorrow is another day and we can always try to do better. Thank God, for both of our sakes. He looked up at me and said “tomorrow, I will try to be better.” Then he hugged me for what felt like 5 minutes. Be still my heart.

7:10 pm

Storytime for #2 then off to bed a little early because he skipped naps, and in our house, that earns you an early bedtime.

7:30 pm

Prayers only for #1 with a kiss and discussion that tomorrow he will try to make better choices. As I closed his door I got choked up. I need to try to be better too. I yell too much, I play on my phone too much, and I am impatient. So I will try to make better choices tomorrow too. Until then, where is my corkscrew?


  1. I feel like this is my life, too!! My oldest is almost 4 and still will not get out of his bed in the morning without us. He is also my picky eater and the youngest is my lover of food. They already argue over the same silly toy and soon enough my youngest will be able to over power his brother. Jude also frequently asks for me to feed him and only eat candy!! I also
    Said only babies get fed by their mommies but also added that babies don’t get candy. That worked! I love the homestretch, too! I’ll toast my wine glass tonight to you

  2. Aww Amanda! I had no idea you tagged me in this until it popped up in my newsfeed and I read it. Thank you!! You are just like most of us, my dear. Always worrying if we are getting it right. I’ve spent time with your boys and believe me, you are. They are wonderful kids. I hope we can stay in touch, when mine is a little more mobile we should get together for a play date.


  3. Excellent, hilarious, accurate account of a SAHM’s day! It was eerily similar to my day with my two! Thanks for making me feel like I’m not the only one who lived through these things!


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