The Do’s and Don’ts of a Tween Slumber Party

slumber party featured“What do you want to do for your birthday?”

I’d asked her that at least 10 times the whole month before her birthday hoping to hear something different. But nope – the answer was the same each time, “I want to have a slumber party mom.” Realizing I wasn’t going to change her mind, I decided that I might as well just suck it up and give in.

10 to 12 year old girls screaming, shrieking, and running around your house until 3AM. Does just the thought of that make your insides cringe? It sure did make my head spin!

I have to admit though, in the end, the party was a big success, and I actually had a little fun along the way too! Now, I did learn a few things along the way – some that I wish I had known before and some that well……I just wish I didn’t have to learn at all.

So today, I’d thought I’d share what I believe to be the Do’s and Don’ts of a Tween Slumber Party – from a “unseasoned” tween Mama!

DO :: Include the birthday girl in the party planning.IMG_6208 for blog

We’ve had parties before that I planned every game and element so that everything would be a surprise to the birthday girl. This is definitely not the way to go once they reach this age (as I learned at the 9 year old party)! You see, they are just “too cool” for that now, and the games you come up with could never be as cool as the ones they like! I mean come on Mom!

DON’T :: Allow yourself to be the only adult there!

Enlist the help a your best girlfriend, the teenager babysitter around the corner, or even an older sibling. Trust me! You will need at least one five minute break to go to your room and sit quietly for a minute, or you may just want to go to the bathroom for pete’s sake!

DO :: Limit the number of guests.

In my oh so infinite wisdom, I allowed my daughter to have a slumber party in first grade. YES, I said first grade! YES, I had absolutely lost my mind and any common sense, but hey, we all have our moments right? The party was scheduled for the weekend after Thanksgiving, and I barely knew any of the other moms in her class. I figured we could invite all the girls in her class and probably only get a handful that would show up. Hahahahahah! Do you know what it’s like to have a sleepover with 17 six year olds?!?!? I’m still recovering. LIMIT HOW MANY YOU INVITE!

IMG_6237DON’T :: Let your husband be there!

You might think that he will be there to help you. No, don’t do it! He will be there to remind you that they are running in the house, that they are talking too loud at 1AM, that they touched the vase, that they moved the chair, that they………you get the picture. Seriously, give him the night off, and you will BOTH be much happier in the end!

DO :: Have a firm drop-off and pick-up time.

I’m very lucky in that all of my fellow mom friends understand and appreciate that a sleepover is a sleepover, not necessarily a two full day event. Unfortunately, not all moms are this way! We all have different definitions of when sleepovers start and end so be sure to be clear of your expectations on the invitation or you might find yourself with an extra “helper” to clean up the day after!

DON’T :: Try to get creative with the food.

Yes, there are tons of ideas on Pinterest and the web for cute popcorn bars and waffle buffets, but the bottom line is this: they want pizza for dinner and donuts for breakfast. That’s it! Save yourself some time and money! Trust me on this one! IMG_6254 blogOtherwise, you’ll put in a lot of work, it will be cute as can be, but you’ll still end up ordering Domino’s and running to Krispy Kreme in the morning.

DO :: Set a few ground rules.

Let them know that you definitely want them to have fun, but you just want to remind them of the “house rules!” Ours included the bedrooms being off limits, including the birthday girl’s little sister in the activities, treating everyone with respect, and the last one ……HAVE FUN!

IMG_6251 for blogDON’T :: Overplan!

Have a few games and activities (chosen by the birthday girl of course), but don’t have something planned for every minute. I let the birthday girl guide the activities of the night. When someone asked what was next, I would tell them to ask the birthday girl. She was good at knowing when her friends needed something to do and when they really just wanted to hang out.

DO :: Eavesdrop!

Yes, I said it and don’t pretend like you don’t do it too! Actually, I’m saying this for two reasons. One is, of course, the obvious – you don’t want inappropriate topics, bullying or mean behavior to take place. The second one is more fun though! As my husband and I lay in bed, we could hear the girls laughing about who had the coolest teacher, why they think “so and so” is cute, and how “Ms._____” is so crazy! It was fun to listen to such sweet innocence and hear the type of laughter that you know is genuine. It made me want to be that age again!

DON’T :: Let them stay up too late!

A slumber party DOES NOT mean staying up all night, much to the dismay of your tween guests. There doesn’t have to be a set time that they should settle in for the night, but monitoring when the crankiness sets in will be both to your advantage and theirs! Just like us, the more tired they get, the more irritable they get. Translation: girl fights! When the time is right, turn off the lights, turn on a movie and let the zzzzzz’s commence!

DO :: Let them be kids!IMG_6258 blog

Truly, they love being around each other. They are the MOST important people to each other and I mean really – they have some serious stuff to gossip about. They want to run around a little, dance to the same song 20, no I mean 30 times and maybe even knock on the neighbor’s door and run away. Don’t stress too much! Let them have fun and create those precious memories! Your neighbor will understand and well…..just don’t listen to the radio for two weeks after! “….The players gonna play, play, play, play, play and the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, but I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake shake……….” OK, it’s been more than two weeks, and it’s still stuck in my head.

FINALLY, the last recommendation is a simple one.

DON’T :: Make any plans the next day!

You will need the day to recover, clean and pamper yourself! Your birthday girl….well, she will sleep all day!

Have you ever hosted a slumber party for your daughter? What things did you learn?


  1. Creative Sitters is a great way to give mom a break or an extra hand at slumber parties. We come with art activities that can be anywhere from jewelry making to face painting! Sitters can even stick around to help watch the kids.

  2. I love this! It will be a few years until it’s time for our daughter’s big sleepover parties, but I am archiving this post for when the day comes!

  3. When my daughter was 12,she was about a quarter of the way into puberty and bedwetting! She mostly hosted a few slumber parties rather than go to other parties.She was wearing cloth diapers and plastic pants for her bedwetting and all of her friends knew about it,so when she would have a slumber party,most of the girls would put on her extra diapers and plastic pants and have fun! They did it so as to level the playing field on their own and i thought that was sweet of them.

    • To christa- As a mom.i have heard of this and feel it is really nice and thoughtful of the other girls wearing the bedwetters diapers and rubberpants.When my daughter was 13,she to went to a slumber party of a friend who was in puberty and bedwetting and her and all the other girls wore the friends cloth diapers and rubberpants.She told me that they had an awesome time and that the friend even had some pacifiers that they all used! The daughter actually admitted to me that she kind of liked wearing the diapers and rubberpants and feeling like a baby with the other girls.

  4. To Christa-When my daughter was 11,she was bedwetting also and wore the size 8 pampers for older kids with the plastic pants over them for added protection.When she would have a slumber party,she would lay the package of the pampers and a few pairs of her plastic pants on her bed and she would tell the girls that they could wear them if they wanted to and it was strictly up to them.Usually most of the girls would wear them,and some didnt and some wore just the plastic pants with out the pampers under them.

  5. To Cheryl and christa-Our daughter started puberty just after turning 12 and started wetting the bed also.I used size 8 pampers with the rubberpants over them and alternated with cloth pin on diapers and the rubberpants on her.When some of her friends would sleep over,they also would wear the pampers and rubberpants also.Her bedwetting lasted untill past 14 to almost 15.When she was 14,she had a slumber party the one saturday night with 5 of her friends and they all wore her cloth diapers and rubberpants under their footed blanket sleepers.Her rubberpants were all adult size and fit the girls blousy over their diapers and it was so cute seeing the six of them running around with the diaper bulges under their sleepers and hearing the rubberpants crinkling!

  6. Have 2 bedwetters 8 and 6 and both wearing cloth diapers and plastic pants to bed. I have found this combination to be 99.5% effective in keeping surrounding bedding dry and the kids are comfortable wearing them.

    • I am 17 and babysit for a family with two daughters a year apart at 12 and 13.Both of them are puberty bedwetters and each wear a thick cloth diaper and adult size rubberpants to bed every night.When i babysit them,before bedtime,they both lay side by side and i rub baby lotion on them,then apply the babypowder,then pin the diaper on each of them.They then raise up their legs and i puul their rubberpants up their legs and over their diaper.They then put on the pjs or nightgowns and watch tv for a little while then go to bed.

  7. To Sheryl-Yes you are correct,cloth diapers and plastic pants are very effective in keeping bedding dry!I have seen and heard of more bedwetting girls wearing cloth diapers and plastic pants than i have bedwetting boys wearing them.From what i was told,boys dont like the cloth diapers and plastic pants as they feel they are to babyish.Bedwetting girls wear the cloth diapers and plastic pants i have heard because the cloth diapers are easier and softer on their skin.Some bedwetting girls even like to wear cute plastic pants over their cloth diapers with pastel colors or babyprints.The girls in the posts above who were bedwetters were proper in wearing the cloth diapers and plastic pants.

  8. Our daughter is 14 and still bedwetting from puberty also.Back on June 6th,she finially made her First Holy Communion with the 2nd graders in the class of 2021.She wore a cute,poofy,short sleeve,knee length communion dress and veil with lace anklets and white mary jane shoes.After her bath that sunday morning,i pinned 6 of her cloth bedwetting diapers on her,then put a pair of her white rubberpants on over them with a tee shirt that she wore under her dress for the day.She was just like the little girls in her class!

    • To Emma C.- Our daughter is 14 and still bedwetting from puberty and wearing the cloth diapers and rubberpants to bed every night.Back on June 5th,she recieved her Sacrement of 8th grade Confirmation and per the dress code all of the girls had to wear a short sleeve,poofy,knee length,white flowergirl type dress and veil with lace anklets and white mary jane shoes.After her bath,i pined 10 of her cloth diapers on her then put white rubberpants on over them that she wore under her dress for the day.Later on she told me she was talking to some of the other girls in her class and some of them told her that they had cloth diapers and rubberpants on under their dresses also,so she wasnt the only girl with diapers and rubberpants on under her dress.

    • To Emma C.- Our daughter also made her First Holy Communion at 14 in the class of 7 year olds,and even tho she wasnt a bedwetter,i did a 10 ply thick cloth diaper and adult size rubberpants on her under her puffy communion dress with an undershirt as her top. She looked cute and felt very ‘7ish’ for her special day!

      • Our daughter is 13 and will be making her First Holy Communion next month on May 21 in the class of 2023.I am doing a cloth diaper and rubberpants on her also with a tee shirt as her top.

        • Our daughter is 11 and will be making her FHC this comming May 19th in the class of 24.She has her dress and veil,lace anklets and white shoes all ready.I am doing a size 8 pampers diaper on her with white ruffled rubberpants over it and an under shirt under her dress.


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