Struggling to Make My Kids Independent

During baby’s first year, at every well visit we got a checklist of milestones he should be hitting. It was useful and stressful all at the same time. Now 6 years in, that would be helpful. They may still give checklists at the annual well visits, but I don’t go if they aren’t getting a vaccine. So here I am trying to figure out what my 6 year old should be doing for himself. He likes to be coddled and I am a control freak, so we are still navigating him doing a lot of things on his own.

What He Does:

  • begrudgingly dresses himself
  •  sometimes gets his own snacks and drinks

What He Does Not Do:

  • bath himself without the reminder
  • remember to brush his own teeth
  • make his bed without asking

I can’t help but feel like I don’t push him enough. He is ONLY 6, and 6 is still little. I am his mama and it is my job to take care of him. Selfishly I want him to need me and lean on me. I am terrified of the day he stops asking me to walk him to the carpool van every morning. In a world where kids grow up too fast, I want him to stay innocent and his own age.

However, the end goal is to raise him to leave me. I will have failed him as his mother if I don’t push him to be independent, and figure things out for himself. The older he gets the more I want to hold on to him, but I have got to let go a little bit more. Kindergarten has helped him to come out of his shell. I am grateful for the partnership of his teachers. They push him at school and encourage me to push him at home. I am still not doing enough, and I am open to suggestions.

What are some ways you are teaching your child to be independent?

Amanda Blaum
Amanda is her name and sequins are her game. She can never be too extra with fashion or fun. Boymomming keeps her busy. In between playdates and ballpark games, she enjoys dates with her husband of 8 years and girls nights with her mom squad.


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