Enough With The Parties … FOR THE LOVE!

{read the opposing opinion In Defense of Silly School Parties}

Enough With The Parties … FOR THE LOVE!

Can we, as mothers … scratch that, as humans, all agree that the celebrations we are showering our kids with are out of control?

Look, I am not 100% innocent in this. I take monthly photos of my kids for the first year of their life; I find myself wanting to get my children a physical reward for good behavior; I make a big deal out of birthdays. It kind of stops there for me.

PartiesBut what is this 100 days of school celebration madness?! Even worse, I am now seeing pictures of your precious kiddos celebrating 50 days of school complete with costumes, decor and customized food options. What is this insanity?! Congratulations kid; you did your job of going to school for 7 weeks.

Your child lost their first tooth?? Let’s leave $100 under their pillow and have a tea party with their closest friends complete with custom monogram cookies, lemonade in mason jars with coordinated pennant banners and paper straws. Or it’s Valentine’s Day, but paper cards just will not do. We need to make homemade bubble bath with heart confetti dyed pink and red. Better yet, it is drug-free week at school. For my 4 year old. Who, by the way, has no idea what drugs are. But I digress.

This week, in an effort to teach said child about saying no to drugs, he needs to wear crazy socks on Monday, a tie dyed shirt on Tuesday, wacky hair on Wednesday,  accessories on Thursday and free dress on Friday. Friday is the only day I can get behind for this definitely WACKY week. Then there is story book character day. FOR THE LOVE. Why can’t my kid just write a book report? Or just talk about the character. Do you know how hard it is to put together a costume for Fancy Nancy?!

I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that if we do not stop celebrating every darn thing during childhood, it will most definitely result in a sorely disappointing adulthood. Maybe I am the oddball here, but I am not celebrating on the regular. Yay, I breastfed my baby for six months, now come to my playdate where I will serve lactation cookies, have a 3 tiered breastfeeding cake, and we will all sip our wine out of baby bottles. This is not happening in my life. I do not get a cookie and balloons and homemade bath bombs because I remembered snack day at school. But I guarantee if we raise children to believe every part of life must be celebrated, including doing what you are legally required to do (going to school for 50 days), then what a let down will it be when they enter the real world and you are not celebrated on a routine basis.

My proposition is simple. Stop with all the parties, all the commemoration of mundane tasks our children should be doing, and only praise those things that are truly worthy of celebration. Taking it a step further, how about positive words instead of things and parties? We do not have to head to Pinterest for every milestone. We can tell our children with words how proud of them we are, then send them outside to play like children should be doing. It takes far less energy as parents, and we know we won’t be setting them up for disappointment when their future bosses don’t throw them a party for doing their job. 

Furthermore, it would remove the burden from working moms to invest more time and resources in excessive expectations when all we really want is to spend time with our kiddos while they’re little. For women without parenting partners or those of us who don’t want to spend extra money (or HAVE extra funds in the budget) all of this becomes an even greater weight to carry. So FOR THE LOVE let’s make it stop. And when it does then we can all throw a party!


  1. I was reading this while sipping my lukewarm coffee. I just have to say, when I reached the end of your writing, I put down my mug, stood up, bowed my head and clapped my hands with wholehearted agreement. My 4 year old gave me the side-eye, and that’s okay.

    I like the way you think.

  2. Finally!!! I have two kids and could never keep up with all of the dress up and theme days. It now even starts before birth with gender reveal parties. When did those become a thing!?! Have you also heard about the crazy prom and homecoming “proposals” these boys do now?


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