On the Day You Rode the Bus

I never imagined you would ride the bus in kindergarten but boy, were you excited. You couldn’t wait for the first full day of school to put on the uniform, carry your new backpack and hop on the bus like a biJude bus g boy. I was so proud, but also so full of a gazillion other emotions. I stood in the driveway and watched the bus until I couldn’t see it anymore. I strongly debated whether or not to follow it to school, but then realized I would have to wake your sleeping brother. I tearfully went inside the house and suddenly remembered every moment of your life that brought us here.

It won’t be like this for long

My baby. My first baby.  I yelled and ran down the hall with my pee stick to announce to your Daddy that it was positive. And now you’re five.

The first time I heard your heartbeat was the one of the most surreal and joyous moments of my life. I was growing a little human! And now you’re in kindergarten.

JuI LOVED being pregnant with you. The growing belly, the cravings, even the aversions. It was another amazing step in this journey that I fully and wholly embraced. And now you’re dressing yourself.

Your birth was such a whirlwind, we almost didn’t make it to the hospital! The moment I first heard you cry was quite simply one of the happiest moments of my life. You were a tiny little thing and needed oxygen and TLC. And now you’re running, jumping and swimming.

I was terrified to bring you home. I was scared I didn’t know what I was doing, that I would screw it up somehow. We had to be responsible for this little human?! But we did it, our little miracle that Daddy and I created together. And now you’re writing and learning to read.

You didn’t sleep well as a baby, and it was work to get to a full nights rest. You still wake up at night with bad dreams or wanting me to take you to the potty. Sometimes it’s frustrating and I just want to Jude bdaysleep. And then I remember how far we’ve come. So instead, I climb in your bed and hold you because I don’t know how much longer this moment will last. You’ll decide you’re too big one day. And now I’ll cry about how proud I am but also wistful for the days gone by.

I’m so happy how brave you are and how much you’ve grown. I know it won’t be like this for long so I’ll relish these times. And hope you’ll always need me in some way. Because I’ll always be here for you.

But I still might cry as you grow up because to me you’ll be my baby forever.

1 COMMENT

  1. I put my first born who is now a 6th grader on the bus for the first time this year and had the same emptions. It is great to know that I am not the only one. This was such a sweet little story to read. thanks

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