Watch Your Mouth: Top 5 Things NOT to Say to a New Mom

Now that I have two children, I hear my share of intrusive comments. Most often from strangers. Since having my second child in April, I am hearing the same things as I did with my first, in addition to some new ones that seem to be on repeat. Talking with the other New Orleans Moms Blog contributors, I’ve realized I’m definitely not alone.

Top 5 things not to say to a new momAre you breast feeding?

Cringe. This overly personal question always seems to come from people I barely know. Excuse me, complete stranger, for not wanting to discuss my boobies with you. It was the worst when I had to stop nursing my first; the question made me want to cry. Although I am nursing my second child, I still hate it. If a close friend or family member asks, I know they are genuinely checking on me and my well being. When he was about 4 weeks old someone said, “Are you nursing? Oh you are? Isn’t it the best? It was so easy for me with all my kids.” Thanks for just making me feel sh*tty, lady. No, it isn’t easy for me so keep it to yourself. I think whether you breast or formula feed, it’s not a question most moms feel comfortable with.

Are you trying again for a girl/boy?

As if I’m not happy with the gender of my two children? God blessed me with two healthy boys, and I am grateful for that. I like being a boy mom. No, I don’t feel a burning desire to have a girl. My husband and I prefer man to man defense when it comes to children, not zone. How many kids you choose to have is YOUR business, not everyone else’s.

Have you lost all your weight OR are you still in maternity clothes?

Seriously?! Bite me. It takes nine months to put it on; it can take longer to take it off. It’s harder with pregnancy #2 and beyond, even if you eat healthy and exercise. Don’t EVER ask a woman about her weight, just don’t!

You look tired. Are you getting enough rest?photo (8)

Gee, thanks. No, I am not getting enough rest, I have A BABY. Some people won’t sleep well for years after having a kid, depending on the child’s sleep habits. If you wish to comment on how tired I look, you’re welcome to come over a do a night shift in my house. And if you sleep train, co-sleep, rock the baby nightly, people will have something to say about that too.

You have your hands full!

This one goes for parents with more than one child, especially more than two kids. As one of our contributors put it, “Thank you, Captain Obvious!” Even with just two kids, I hear this one too. Instead of commenting on it, maybe you could give me hand? Most people are generally nice, holding the door for you at the store, etc. But it’s pretty annoying when people walk by and make that comment while they watch you unload your kids and all that comes with them.

What comments do you hear most since having kids that you’d rather not? 

5 COMMENTS

  1. LOVE this! Thank you! I have THREE and am constantly getting the “you have your hands full” comment. Um, YES, I do. But so does the mom/dad/couple with just ONE child. Dennis the Menace was an only child, and the Brady Bunch had six kids – the shenanigans are endless regardless! And is the person commenting saying my children are a hand full because they’re loud? energetic? laughing? screaming? They are two hand fulls on a good day! But I love them even if they’re having a conniption fit and would much rather hear, “You have a darling family,” or “an energetic bunch.” Thanks again for sharing! You are right on with all of these!

  2. I love it when family members comment on the quality and/or quantity of breast milk my newborn is getting. It’s a lot of fun. Especially over dinner or tv.

  3. I have a 6 and 12 year old. Our calendar would scare most teens into never having sex. I should turn it into a meme for scared straight classes. So, if you want to tell me I look tired, I know that. I cry over that. I live tired. But, my kids are happy and I’ll get to sleep again in 2026.

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