The Tightrope Walker {Living Between Joy and Heartbreak}

The Tightrope Walker {Living Between Joy and Heartbreak}

This past Friday was a huge milestone for our family. It was the day our daughter, Emmaline, officially had been on Earth longer than her big brother, Drew. This is a tremendous blessing, but incredibly bittersweet. 

Emmaline is a walking ray of sunshine, beyond my wildest dreams. We are so blessed she is our daughter, that she is healthy and safe. This is how parenting should be, your children keep growing, thriving, playing. That is the way things are supposed to happen. I am far from a perfect parent, but gratitude is a part of every single day with our baby girl. We try to make each day a celebration. We try to not let fear take over and let her be the force of nature she is. We are doing the best we can, and we are doing it together. 

IMG_2575We only had Drew with us for 15 months. He was happy. He was beautiful. Then in an instant, he was gone. I cannot hold him, I cannot talk to him, and all of our dreams for Drew’s life ended on March 12, 2014. This picture is from a few days before. I do not know what kind of amazing man he would have been. What games he would like to play. He is forever to me the little boy who loved trains. I don’t get to see him run to me after a busy day at school. What we can do for Drew now is honor his legacy and try live to live a life full of love.

I just wish so much we did not have to honor Drew. I wish I could simply parent him. I wish we could do everyday things for both our children. I wish we could all be together, and I could have one photo of my family all together. I wish that we already knew about about all of things to come. All of the parenting milestones from this point on will be new to us.

I look to the future with our Baby Girl and know Drew is with us. I had 15.5 months with him in my arms and will have him forever in my heart. I look forward to new adventures with Missy Prissy and am overcome with joy that I get to be her mother, that I get to watch my baby grow up. This morning she said “star” for the first time and made me laugh constantly. I am in awe of her.

IMG_2572I will proceed with a heart full of hope and love. That’s what Drew would have wanted and that’s what being his mother taught me. I will fall; I will have bad days. The longing for him will never go away, but I would never want it to.

In the end, I am a parent of two beautiful children. One whose time with us was far too short. The other whose time is just beginning. Drew and Emmaline are the greatest blessings I could have ever received. This is not how I imagined my life going, but I am grateful for this day with Emmaline. I feel so much of the time I am walking a tightrope: on one side of me is joy and on the other side is heartbreak.

There are no neat and tidy endings after you lose a child. There is an appreciation for the everyday. Gratitude and grief go hand in hand, your life is what you make it.

About Georgia Boswell

IMG_1790Georgia Boswell hails from Minden, Louisiana, but she has been proud to call New Orleans home for 11 years. Georgia received an undergraduate degree from Louisiana Tech and acquired a Masters in Hospitality and Tourism Management from UNO. She enjoys reading, traveling and sampling the many treasures New Orleans has to offer. She met Devron during Mardi Gras 2007 and they officially became Team Boswell on May 23, 2009. They were blessed to welcome Drew Joseph Boswell into the world on November 27, 2012. Tragically Drew died in his sleep on March 12, 2014.  His death was attributable to SUDC (Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood). Georgia and Devron, with the tireless support of many friends, started Drew’s Tunes for the two-fold purpose of providing musical instruments to young children and also to support research on the cause and possible prevention of SUDC. Since its inception, Drew’s Tunes has donated over $100,000 in support of its mission. These donations include almost 1000 instruments to over 1500 local children and $30,000 towards SUDC research. As of April 28, 2015, Emmaline Elizabeth Boswell became the newest member of Team Boswell. Devron and Georgia look forward to telling Emmaline all about her big brother and making the world more beautiful together in his name.


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