I received my gift of motherhood on September 27, 2010. From that moment, my life changed in ways that I never knew it could. The day that my daughter arrived, I received my membership card into a society that is not a secret and is not new. Hundreds of thousands of moms have come before me and will come after me, but it does not make my membership any less special. It is a society that breaks down all barriers. Whether it is a language barrier, a Yankee or a Southern mom, or Saints fan or Falcons fan, we are all in this society together. We all want one thing…the best for our children.
Recently there has been tragedy in the lives of several moms that I don’t know personally but have seen and followed through social media. My heart hurts for them, even though I don’t know them. I am a mom and could not fathom what they are going through. I do what I think all moms do when they hear stories of tragedy; I internalize them and feel for that mom.
I think about those moms and how each day must be for them. How they close their eyes at night. And most importantly, how they stay strong. While I know each day is a gift, and we should all treasure it, to hear the stories of sick children and the most awful stories of the kids who have left this world, stir so many emotions within me.
I have held my baby a little tighter and stayed up playing with her a little later because I am trying to fill a void for another mom. I am trying to hold on to every memory with my little one out of fear. I know this is probably not healthy in so many ways, but I think all moms fear the worst when we hear these tragic stories. We file away in the back of our mind, not to do this or don’t feed our child that in an effort to protect them from whatever we can.
All I can do is be thankful for my gift and my membership card. These moms who have endured so much know the value of the membership. And that no matter what happens that the membership will never expire.
My mom always said, “You will always be my baby.” As a teenager I would roll my eyes and shrug her off, but now that I am a mom I truly understand that message. Your heart is always with your child, you feel the pain that they do, you celebrate their milestones with them and you do the hardest thing…watch their little lives unfold.
Membership in this society is harder for some and a walk in a park for others. But I know that my membership is my most treasured possession on both good days and bad days.