Have you ever read one of those e-cards that talks about real moms having sticky floors or that mom gets it all done with her superhero cape that is secretly hidden in her closet?
Yeah, well I think we laugh because we all know that in some way it is true. But, what about those days when you aren’t so super?
You know what I mean. The day when you start off late to work because you forgot to set the alarm, but you over slept because your toddler had a nightmare and was up all night. You make it out the house and to your desk at work when it hits you that you left your coffee and breakfast on the kitchen counter. You fumble through the day to pick up a kid from daycare who is cranky from the lack of sleep, to get home to realize that you forgot to take dinner out of the freezer, the pet threw up on the kitchen floor and your hubby just called that he is going to be working late.
I will admit that I have those days. It is days when the work/life balance is a little off. It is also the day that the balance between trying to remember everything and holding it all together gets thrown out the window. Sometimes I have to be super. I have to be the mom that can get it all done. It is a lot of pressure, but it is pressure that I put on myself.
Last night, as I opened the dishwasher to realize that I put soap in it two days ago and forgot to hit start, was the end of it for me. I walked away from the day, knowing that I can start fresh tomorrow. I wasn’t feeling very super; actually I was closer to a mommy meltdown.
I am not a bad parent because I had a long day. Sometimes it is okay not to be super. Let’s be realistic: my two-year-old has no idea if I did the dishes or the laundry. She just cares that when it is time to read a bedtime story that I am there and ready to cuddle.
Moms have so much on their plate, and it is hard to keep up. I am a working mom so between my day job and my real job as a wife and mother, not everything can always get done. I don’t need to feel bad about it.
My daughter is going to be three in September, and I realized much too late that it is okay. We are all there from time to time. You can leave your normally functional household in disarray and call it a day.
Yes, I went to bed last night with dishes in the sink. No, I didn’t feel bad about it because it does not happen frequently. But, when I woke up this morning I did the dishes because I was fresh and ready to jump back in. It was a new day, and I was ready to put my super cape back on and get it done.
If you aren’t feeling so super or feeling a mommy meltdown come on, be kind to yourself and forgive yourself for not getting it all done. You are not a bad mom. Let your little one skip bath time that night, leave the dishes in the sink, and throw the towel in for the day. You will feel better and be glad that you did. Grab a glass of wine, soak in a bubble bath or go to bed early. Don’t sweat the small things, there is always tomorrow.
Remember, sometimes even superheros have bad days.
I read a few months ago that sometimes being a mom means that you fail in some part of your life every single day and that to be successful you have to learn how to be okay with that. That was a big eye opener for me. Today I will fail at some part in my life – mom, sister, wife, business owner, boss, daughter – and tomorrow is another day. Thanks for this post.
This post hits so close to home today. The house is a DISASTER, I am behind at “real” work, my head is spinning with MNO details … I need a vacation! I am not good at letting go – at all. I love Celeste’s advice above.
Such a great post and it’s one of those weeks over here so I’m grateful to be reading this tonight!
love this post… so comforting to know we are not alone when we have days like this.. and it’s okay!
Don’t sweat the small stuff. Your late dinner, messy playroom, piles of laundry, are no match for the mom who has a sick child at Children’s, the pregnant MoMs trying to figure out how to fit 3 of everything in their house/car, the mom whose husband is deployed. It can always be worse but today it’s all good. 🙂
adding to the mess at home and work – my dh says i’m not communicating when i need help and that’s ruining his life and he’s miserable with me. and so so true = could always be worse. 🙁
You are totally right Linzy. We go to bed with dishes in the sink ALL THE TIME! They get done when they get done. Every once in a while he just gets changed into his pjs and wash his hands and face, and go to bed. And every now and then we just order take-out or eat ice cream or cereal or whatever for dinner. It’s just life sometimes. Good for you for coming to this realization. If you ever need a pep talk about this, I’m here 🙂