Our Families May Be Different But We Are All Mothers

I’m fortunate to have many fantastic friends with beautiful families, and a few of them are part of the new normal. What is the new normal you ask?

It’s gay parenting.

Growing up, I didn’t have any friends with gay parents so it’s not something that I experienced as a child. I’m thankful that my children are part of a new era where being gay is openly accepted. We continuously express to our children to just be happy with who they are, so it’s only natural to be accepting to everyone regardless of their sexual preferences. Or so it should be.

NOMB RainbowSince this is 2014 and my friends’ sexual orientation is no secret, I was rather taken by surprise at a recent birthday party. While her wife was talking to some parents from her daughter’s class, she walked up and introduced herself as her daughter’s mother. The shock in some of the parents’ eyes had me not only dumbfounded but also embarrassed.

Like I said, my friends have always been open so I was surprised to see that these parents didn’t know they were lesbians and was embarrassed by the look on their faces. I was so taken back and a bit defensive. Why the squinted eyes and their frigid stance? My friend and her wife are two of the most caring, encouraging and loving parents.

Their sexual orientation doesn’t make them any different from you or I. They are mothers.

While some of the moms of the class seemed to be puzzled by this, none of the kids seemed to care or notice that their friend has two moms. In fact, my sons have never asked or commented about the friends I have that are in gay relationships/marriages. They just see it for what it is: that their friends have two moms and/or that their classmate has two dads. They don’t make confused eyes or have a defensive demeanor.

The kids were open and accepting.

Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be? That our children are accepting of things different than them? Whether it be the that a family has 2 moms or that a family has different racial backgrounds or practices a different religion? While I know I am nowhere near perfect, I am thankful that my boys are accepting of my friends with families that are different than our own.

While I know that the question may arise, I’m fully up to answering any questions about it. It’s best to address it and be open. It shouldn’t be a secret. If you act uncomfortable, then your child/children will act the same. All families are different, right? Whether it’s skin tone, sexual orientation, occupations … the list can go on and on!

We are thankful to live in a day and age where openness and acceptance is encouraged.

Have your children noticed that families are different? If so, how have you handled it?

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Mary is a caffeine addicted boy mom to Noah, Liam and Luke. This “stay at home” mom can typically been found cruising in her minivan, jamming to Beyonce with a Starbucks in hand on her way to carpool or after school activities. Mary has been married to her high school sweetheart since 2007. She is a founder of Delivering Hope NOLA and the Vanessa Wolff Scholarship Fund at her Alma Mater. Mary is passionate in the local preemie community and has been heavily involved with the March of Dimes since her sons Liam and Luke were born premature.

6 COMMENTS

  1. My son’s best friend has 3 moms (mom 1 & 2 had him through in vitro, seperated, and mom one is engaged to mom 3), and until this year no one thought anything of it. But this year, 6th grade, has started some of the shunning. I’ve been called to the office twice for a conference because people were ugly and he stood up for his friend. It makes me sad that the kids who have always been so accepting are getting so judgemental, because you know they are learning it from home. And I’m very proud of my son for standing up for his friend, though we are working on more socially appropriate way to do so that won’t end him up on the office

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