By the time Baby Nathaniel and I arrived home at 6:00 p.m. on November 30, 2012, we had gone to FIVE stores in FIVE hours, and he had ZERO naps! How did this all happen? Well, it is one big “Amber Story” (as my friends like to call them).
It all began with me hiring my sister to clean my house for me. You know, that one good foundational cleaning that will be the stepping stone to steadily keeping up the house forever and ever and not needing to hire anyone to clean it again. So, as I was excitedly drinking my coffee in anticipation of this foundational cleaning, I realized it was 7:30 a.m., and my sister had not arrived. I, in my p.j.’s, and Nathaniel just starting his nap, called said sister to find out why she was not here. Turns out, she overslept, her ride was gone, and I was going to need to go pick her up. No biggie, Baby Nathaniel ALWAYS sleeps in the car, and it was at least an hour round-trip, so he would surely get his nap – NOT! NEGATIVE!! He cooed and oohed and ahhhed and kicked and squealed at every tree, building, car, and truck we passed by.
When we arrived back home, I was a little panicked about the cranky, whiney baby I was going to have on my hands the rest of the day, but not totally panicked. At 12:30, he would be down for another nap. All was not totally lost. My sister began cleaning my house; I fed, changed, and bathed the baby, and put him down for his second nap at 12:30 p.m. He was snoring in minutes – Success!! Right? – NOT! NEGATIVE!! My sister then informed me that she could not clean the house with me in it, and that she needed pop music blaring at the highest decibels to get in the groove to clean. She needed the baby and me to leave.
Okey dokey. No problemo. Baby Nathaniel would surely fall asleep in the car THIS time as tired as what he was – NOT! NEGATIVE!! Again, he cooed and oohed and ahhhed and kicked and squealed at every tree, building, car, and truck we passed by.
As I pulled into a parking spot just outside of Carter’s, I was more panicky than before about the cranky, whiney baby I was going to have on my hands the rest of the day, but not totally panicked. I had the front carrier with me and would wear Baby Nathaniel on me as I shopped at Carter’s. He would fall asleep on me as I shopped at this one store for Christmas outfits for him, and then we would go to the grocery store, and then go home – NOT! NEGATIVE!!
I will say, he was a tropper, and he was basically happy to be in the carrier. However, I had not the forethought to know that, by now, all of the baby Christmas clothes were extremely picked over, and I could not get a full outfit in his size. I asked the store clerk to hold the shirt and the socks, and we walked over to the Children’s Place to look for more outfits. There, we were able to find one full outfit, a pair of socks, and shoes. However, he still did not have a suit or pants to go with the shirt and socks sitting at Carter’s. Nor did he have Christmas pajamas, and you know every child NEEDS Christmas pajamas.
By the time we left the Children’s Place to go back to Carter’s to buy the baby’s outfit pieces, Baby Nathaniel was a little fussy, but easily soothed as I was wearing him, shushing him, and bouncing him a little. We thanked the kind lady that said “she is so cute,” after kindly correcting that Baby Nathaniel was, in fact, a male, and purchased the baby’s outfit pieces. At this point, I knew he was hungry (not to mention EXTREMELY tired), but it would only take a minute to run over to JC Penney and buy him a suit. Off to JC Penney we went.
I put the baby in front of the stroller since that usually keeps him entertained. He looks at everything and everybody, and he can stay quite content there for a while. This time, I was right. Thank God!! We found Baby Nathaniel a suit and pants to go with the rest of the outfit from Carter’s. Still no pajamas! All the pajamas were the really hot, fuzzy kind that no baby ever really needs in Louisiana, especially if you have a working heater in your house. All the pajamas that were the cooler material were either not in his size, or they were not Christmas. You know every child NEEDS Christmas pajamas!
Next, we were off to Target. We were not there to shop. We were there to hydrate mommy and feed/change baby. I am nursing, so I needed a good snack and lots of liquids. However, the baby can not have cow’s milk protein or soy, and wouldn’t you know… Every single thing at the snack counter had cheese in it or took 10 minutes to cook. No biggie, we go with the flow, and go to the Starbuck’s right next to the snack counter. Thank you, thank you, thank you Starbuck’s for those pre-packaged smoothies and GIGANTIC bottles of fancy water!
I guzzled down my Starbuck’s goodies, and took Baby Nathaniel straight back to the dressing room to change and feed him. His feeding was a half-hour late, so I decided I would feed him first, and then change him. HE FELL ASLEEP WHILE I WAS FEEDING HIM! That was great, right? He would get that nap after all, right? – NOT! NEGATIVE!! I smelled the poop, and knew I had to change him, and that would, subsequently, wake him up. I changed him, he was clean, and he was AWAKE. STILL. I looked for Christmas pajamas. All the pajamas that were the cooler material were either not in his size, or they were not Christmas. You know every child NEEDS Christmas pajamas!
On our way to the Winn-Dixie nearby, I was just mesmerized by the fact that Baby Nathaniel was only slightly fussy and not screaming bloody murder. I thought, “This is a gift, and I will take it. Thank you, God!” I haven’t even slightly fooled myself that the baby would fall asleep in the car at this point. When we got to the grocery store, I put him in front of the cart. He was content there. He was happy to look at everybody and everything, and never got more than just a little fussy. I drank another whole bottle of water, and I called my sister to tell her I was at my last stop and would be home in about an hour. She asked if she could go home and come back and finish the house tomorrow. The answer in my mind was something like, “)(*((^%&^$^$ NO!!!,” but my verbal answer was a firm, “No, and if you’d like to get paid you will finish it today.”
Baby Nathaniel and I got all the groceries we needed, and we thanked the kind people who were kind enough to say, “You’re baby is cute,” when they didn’t know if he was a boy or a girl. Then, I rolled the basket into the check-out lane and saw my November 30, 2012 miracle. Baby Nathaniel stuck his thumb in his mouth, started curling his little hair by his ears, bent his head down to the side of the cart, and, literally, PASSED OUT. It was A MIRACLE, and not a single register noise or bump of the grocery cart woke him up. Thank God!!
Now that Baby Nathaniel was asleep, I had a new dilemma on my hands. I had drank a ton of fluids, and all those little muscles that keep liquids in the bladder don’t work quite so well after having a baby. Sooooo, there I was, trying to check-out, doing the “pee-pee dance,” and I swear I think I got what seemed to be the slowest cashier on the Northshore. All she wanted to do was talk about the baby, and normally, that would be great, but at the moment, I was trying not to leave a puddle on the floor of the Winn-Dixie.
After what seemed like an hour (probably only 15 minutes) of checking out, I rushed the grocery cart with the passed out Baby Nathaniel to the bathroom. I pushed the cart through the bathroom doors and bumped everything in sight, and he NEVER woke up. Thank God!! I was finally able to relieve myself, I washed my hands, and even flushed the toilet, and he NEVER woke up. Thank God!!
I got back to my car, unloaded the groceries, and a nice lady brought my cart back for me (I really don’t like leaving them in the parking lot), and I didn’t want to walk away from the baby. “Thank you nice lady!” Then, I texted my husband to let him know I was on my way home, and to PLEASE order Chinese food from China Kitchen. They deliver, so they were the BEST place at that moment and time.
As I put the key in the ignition and started the car, I was feeling tired and slightly negative and thought, “Now that we’re getting in the car and are on the way home, the baby’s going to wake up and start screaming.” – NOT! NEGATIVE!! Thank God!! He stayed asleep all the way home, and even a while after we got home. My husband and I put all the groceries away. My sister finished cleaning my house. I paid my sister. Then my husband and I inhaled delicious egg rolls, Kung Pao chicken, and Sesame chicken. Nathaniel got, at least, a little nap and 4 outfits for the Christmas Holidays…But we still don’t have Christmas pajamas. You know every child NEEDS Christmas pajamas!
I think the next 5 hour shopping adventure will be online.
What kind of NOLA shopping adventures have you had with your little one(s)?