My Ectopic Pregnancy Story

I didn’t realize how blessed I was with my first journey into motherhood. I shockingly became pregnant, had a pretty easy pregnancy and a textbook induction delivery. It was close to being perfect, and I just thought it would be the norm for me. My mother and sisters had no trouble getting pregnant and all had easy pregnancies, so I just thought I would totally fit in line. Little did I know what was in store for me.

Once my husband and I decided we would start trying for baby number 2, I assumed things would be just as easy getting pregnant the first time or even easier since we were actually trying. A few months went by and nothing happened. I became very discouraged and impatient. That is when my scary months of trying to get pregnant started. I think I read every website and message board regarding tips of ovulation, positions and even diet changes to increase the chances of getting pregnant.

Iamtheface_Girl-300x2961If I wasn’t peeing on ovulation sticks, I was taking some herbal pills and charting my cycle. I felt like months and months went by and everyone around me was getting pregnant and even some by surprise. I was discouraged and just couldn’t understand why I wasn’t getting pregnant. And then…it happened! After 10 months of wishing, hoping and praying, I saw those beautiful 2 lines on a pregnancy test. I was pregnant!

I was so excited and completely over the moon. I remember driving to work and just grinning from ear to ear as my husband and I talked about our future. It was the happiest I had been in months. A new baby was on the way! I couldn’t contain my excitement. It was early December, and I decided that after my first appointment, we would share the news of our pregnancy on Christmas Eve with our family.

I remember being at a holiday event with my son Noah and I just didn’t feel right. My back really hurt and I was experiencing some cramping. I sadly noticed I was spotting and just kept on trying to reassure myself that everything was just fine because I have read that every pregnancy was different and all was well. Thankfully my doctors appointment was in just a few short days, and I just knew everything would be alright.

At the appointment, we did an ultrasound and I was just so excited to finally be able to see that little image on the screen to reassure myself that everything was ok. Sadly, things didn’t turn out the way I hoped it would. I was asked by the ultrasound tech and my doctor if I was as far along as I thought I was, and since I was being a crazy period tracker, I knew the dates were correct.

Unfortunately, it was discovered I was having an ectopic pregnancy. My whole world came crashing down. What was an ectopic pregnancy? What does this mean? How is this handled? I had a million questions regarding this and knew there was only one outcome: I wouldn’t be having my baby. I was sad, furious and couldn’t help but ask why was this happening to me. Over the Christmas holidays, I went through excruciating pain after I was given the treatment to end the ectopic pregnancy. I was heart broken in so many ways.

This experience has forever changed me. My subsequent pregnancies after this were full of fear and worry. This Christmas will make 3 years since this loss, and I still think about it every holiday season and the month that I would have been due. A loss is a horrible thing to endure, and I still wonder about what would have been of this experience if it would have resulted in a gorgeous baby. I’m so lucky to be a mother to 2 precious boys but I can’t help but wonder about the losses I’ve had.

Mary is a caffeine addicted boy mom to Noah, Liam and Luke. This “stay at home” mom can typically been found cruising in her minivan, jamming to Beyonce with a Starbucks in hand on her way to carpool or after school activities. Mary has been married to her high school sweetheart since 2007. She is a founder of Delivering Hope NOLA and the Vanessa Wolff Scholarship Fund at her Alma Mater. Mary is passionate in the local preemie community and has been heavily involved with the March of Dimes since her sons Liam and Luke were born premature.

2 COMMENTS

  1. Hugs, mama! Thank you for sharing your story. There is no such thing as an easy pregnancy after a loss. If more mamas share their stories the taboo if talking about it will be erased.

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