I am a mother of two beautiful, intelligent, amazing girls.
And before you ask: no, I’m not having a boy.
To quote my father, “if I had a nickel for every time someone asked me that, I’d be a millionaire.”
Truer words have never been spoken.
It’s a question that knows no boundaries – whether I am running errands with my two girls in tow or catching up with a distant (although well-meaning) relative at a family event, the question of whether I will add a child with a “xy” chromosome will inevitably work its way into the conversation.
The postpartum nurse at the hospital even asked me this after my second daughter was born. The same day I brought a second beautiful, healthy baby girl into the world after building her from a single cell for nine months – the question of whether I would add some testosterone into my household of estrogen was brought up.
My response was a black-belt level of self control. After all, what are girls, but sugar and spice and everything nice, right?
Don’t get me wrong, I know most asking are well-intentioned and sometimes just use this question to fill in lulls of conversation. But society has long revered having a son “to carry on the family name” and as humans, we tend to innately indulge in the idea of wishing for something that you don’t have. I mean, the American dream is based on the idea of visualizing the life you wish – no matter your circumstances – and working toward that dream.
I understand the question. But just allow me a few moments to give you my response and possibly some food for thought:
No, I’m not having a boy because raising two strong, healthy, confident young women is work enough. We are living in a time and in a country where women can be whatever they want – doctor, astronaut, nurse, scientist, teacher, CEO, mom. It’s all at their fingertips if they are willing to put the work in and it’s up to me to show them how.
No, I’m not having a boy because the sex of my children doesn’t matter to me. I consider myself more than blessed by having two daughters who’s biggest illness in their lives so far have been ear infections and some really weird looking rashes. (I’m looking at you Fifth’s Disease). In a world where it doesn’t take more than logging into your social media to see brave children and even braver parents fight congenital diseases or Cancer or the aftereffects of a tragic accident – with a grace and a strength that I’m not sure I possess. Those rashes and blisters and runny noses are just fine with me.
No, I’m not having a boy because I want to raise my daughters to believe that being a woman is enough. As women, we too often find ourselves making excuses for being emotional or sensitive or approaching a situation differently than our male counterparts, and for what reason? Sometimes it takes the distinctive female point of view to see the solution to a problem. We often forget how much our differences make us a stronger team.
No, I’m not having a boy because I still find myself in awe of motherhood. If I’m being completely honest with myself, I have to stop and take in the fact that these two smart, observant, happy, healthy, funny, awesome little girls are my responsibility. It’s a responsibility that humbles me and teaches me more about love and forgiveness and patience and joy than I could’ve ever comprehended.
So no, I’m not having a boy. I’m having way too much fun filling my days with some sugar, a whole lot of spice and everything that is nice.