When I was told we were having a boy for our first born, I will admit I was nervous. I thought, what will I do with a boy? We didn’t have many boys in our family and my closest cousins were girls. My husband was elated, of course, dreaming of what baseball glove he would buy before we even left the ultrasound room. But as we prepared and I chose his name, I couldn’t wait for Jude to arrive.
Snips and Snails or Sugar and Spice?
As soon as I got pregnant for my second, everyone wanted to know if we were hoping for a girl. It truly didn’t matter, I felt blessed. As we prepared for the ultrasound, a small part of me thought, “A girl might be nice.” I had a name picked out. A boy and a girl, how perfect. But then, the tech said, “It’s a boy!” And the planning for Elijah began.
I was excited. I really enjoyed raising a boy thus far and the idea of two boys made me smile. Brothers who could be best friends, get dirty, get into trouble even. Imagine my disappointment every time someone asked what I was having and they often responded as if they were sad for me. “Oh, well next time you can try for a girl!” As if I wasn’t happy with this little miracle growing inside me? The idea that someone would even say that baffled me, and it happened all too often.
Enough with the questions!
No sooner than I gave birth, the questions about a third child began. My husband and I decided long ago that we only wanted two children, regardless of the sex. This decision seems to almost bother some people, as if they cannot fathom how we could stop at two boys. “Don’t you want a girl? Oh, well you’ll change your mind and try for that girl.” As usual, the comments flow in from acquaintances, not anyone whose opinion truly matters to me.
What I love most
My godchild is a 12 year old girl, full of life and vibrant, and I can take her shopping and do all the things people seem to fear I will miss out on. I was an outdoorsy girl growing up; I liked playing in the mud and baiting my own fish hook with a live cricket. I worked on the engine of my go cart with my dad. I know I was also a difficult and headstrong child, challenging my parents from day one. Unfortunately, my oldest has some of those attributes. I am hoping he will be an easier teenager to raise than I was, just given the nature of boys. My second is naturally more easy going but can have a temper when pushed too far. He’s learning to hold his own for sure.
I love being a boy mom. My friends have said I actually seem best suited to raise boys, and it fits me well. I really wish people would stop assuming that because I am a girl, I need to raise a girl to be completely fulfilled. I am sure it goes the other way as well, telling dads who have daughters that they must want a boy. For me, these two little boys have completed our family, and I am excited for snips and snails.
There are SO many blogs like this. It’s ridiculous! I’ve been told more than once by complete strangers that I need to have a girl because my boys won’t take care of me when I get old. Do girl moms go through this? Do people stop them and say “You better have a boy because those girls aren’t going to be able to fix a leak in your house for you!”
Well said, Claire! Thanks for reading