Guess What? I Choose to Work … and Enjoy It!

WorkWhen I became pregnant with my first child, I thought that it would be so lovely to quit my job and stay home full time. wanted to be the one to raise my child. I didn’t want to expose her newborn immune system to all the germs of daycare and such. And the studies! Have you read all the studies about how kids who go to daycare turn into awful adolescents and adults? Fast-forward nine months to when she is actually born. Those first few days were blissful and exhausting. But then I started to get really bored. And I missed going to the bathroom alone. And eating with two hands. And adult conversation. It was right at this moment when I started to look forward to returning to work.

Don’t get me wrong. During my first maternity leave, I was able to get caught up on Breaking Bad, which was fun. I remember nursing a baby to sleep while falling into a relationship with Walter White and Jesse Pinkman. With the second, I was able to power watch all five seasons of The Wire. Omar was my hero. Season four was the best season of television I watched in a long time. But again, after the television watching was over, I still had children to care for and a house to deal with and two dogs to walk. Oh and jeez, didn’t I just feed these kids and already they want to eat again? Work sounded like a lovely oasis.

I started to realize that I am the type of person who needs to outsource the details of my life in order to maintain a level of sanity. I give a huge high five to the ladies who make it work, staying at home, with a smile on their face and dinner in the oven. But that is not me. I hired a cleaning lady. On the days the cleaning lady comes, I drop the dogs off for an overnight at dog daycare. My kids go to school. And I work. All of this keeps me sane.

I like the break that work provides and ya know what? That is okay. It’s alright to not like the drudgery caring for a child involves. I admire ladies who are cut out to do it 24/7, but that is not me. And I am alright with that. When I pick up the kids after work, we either take a trip to the park or play in the house. I feel that these few hours spent with them are important. I put the phone away (most days) and try to remain fully present. This is not something I could accomplish if I was with them all day long. I feel that I enjoy my time with them more because I know it is limited. Somedays I wish there were more hours but, like everyone else, there are days where I am counting down the minutes until bed time.

I admire the ladies who get in the trenches of parenthood and deal with the daily tedium. I thought that was the path for me. But I realized it wasn’t. Going back to work was my calling. I enjoy my adult time, where I get to eat with two hands and go to the bathroom in peace. I also enjoy the time I spend with my children, swinging at the park or rushing through Whole Foods in a race car cart, just trying to get enough food for dinner without someone having a break down. When I see my girls smile at me or my oldest tells me she loves me, I know I’m doing a good job even though I’m not there all day long.

What is your calling?

7 COMMENTS

  1. Excellent perspective on working moms! As a working mom, I’m always made to feel guilty and looked upon with pity by stay -at-home moms, but we’re doing it and loving it! Yes, there are moments where I wish to be able to attend every school function, ad have my kids in every extra-curricular activity, but we’re well rounded and happy. Furthermore, I like to think I’m showing my daughter that working and raising children is possible. Staying at home is an awesome life choice – it’s just not my choice.

  2. Love this Megan. I stay at home with my 2 and 3 year old and there are definitely times when I think I would rather be back at work, but I know that these years won’t be around much longer. We just put them in mother’s day out 2 days a week so I do get a little down time. Great post!

  3. I have enjoyed reading your post! It comes to me at a very interesting time. I have been blessed with not having to go to work for 13years. I have two sons 12 and 9 as to which we have home schooled due to both having Dyslexia. I have helped them and they are doing great now. I am considering returning back to work and they will be placed in a private school that will allow them to continue the curriculum that we have been using.

    I am extremely nervous about this adventure!!!

  4. Oh Megan! I’m right there with you. With my first I needed to stay home, it was necessary to care for a micro-preemie, but I missed work terribly. With my second, after 9 months at home, I was ready to dive back in. I was fortunate enough to start my own company, but that proved difficult with a wee little one at home too. I was fortunate to hire a nanny until he was old enough to start preschool. I’ve never regretted the choice to work. It fulfills my needs thus allowing me to be happier, which in return makes me a happier mama for my children. For some of us we need to work and there is no need to feel guilt over it.

  5. Great post Megan! There are some days that I wish I were a stay at home mom, but me working is the best decision for our family. I enjoy the adult interaction I get during the day & I cherish the time I have with Addison in the evenings and on weekends!

  6. Thank you for posting this! I recently went back to work after a way too short maternity leave (6 weeks). When people ask me about work now, they give me this look like I’m a pathetic puppy they feel sorry for. I admit, I was really sad to go back so soon, but I’m actually really enjoying it! I miss my daughter without a doubt and it isn’t easy, but I’m getting fulfilled in other ways at work that can’t happen for me if I stayed home. I’m a therapist and have known that’s my calling for a long time, so I feel my skills would go to waste if I didn’t use them! There are a lot of people out there who need my help and being able to do that makes working away from home worth it.

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