When you ask someone whether you should find out the sex of your baby in advance or at the delivery, you will be met with strong answers. Both “sides” adamantly proclaim their way is the best.
Finding out whether you’re having a boy or a girl (or one of each or two girls or even three boys) is an unforgettable, amazing moment…no matter when it is. The reason people who have found out in advance are so grateful is because finding out in advance is the best! The reason people who remained “team green” until the baby was born are so eager to encourage you to do the same is because it’s the best. Having experienced both, I can tell you with certainty the best way to find out the sex of your baby.
There is no wrong way to find out if you’re having a boy or a girl!
When trying to decide how I should find out the sex of my baby, I turned to my friends and to the internet for advice. I learned two things:
- Everyone had practically the same reason for both finding out and for waiting.
- No one regrets when/how they found out the sex of their baby.
“I’m too much of a planner,” was the number one response for those who found out the sex of their baby in advance. They wanted to have the shopping done, the nursery decorated and baby gear purchased before delivery. Some also believed knowing if their baby was a boy or a girl would deepen the bond between parent and child. All these thoughts are valid.
On the flip side…
“This is one of the few true surprises in life.” Those who choose to wait to find out are sure the moment when the baby is born and the doctor announces, “It’s a…” will give an unparalleled feeling. And this is valid as well.
The problem comes in when one camp decides it is universally best. For everyone. All the time. And that simply isn’t true.
I have experienced both finding out in advance and waiting until the birth. Both experiences were equally memorable. Equally special. One way was not better than the other, despite several moms telling me their way is the best way.
We found out at the ultrasound with my daughter. It was an intimate, beautiful moment between me and my husband. Then, with my son, we found out at his birth. Waiting the whole time was exhilarating and like nothing I’d ever experienced. Finally, with my bonus baby, we did a small gender reveal party and found out at the same time as our family and close friends. That moment was pure delight, and I will treasure it forever. To say one of these experiences was better than the other would be a lie. I cannot say it enough, there is no wrong way, and no right way to find out. You should do what is in YOUR heart, mama.
If you are a planner who wants to know what you’re carrying the second you are able, go for it and don’t apologize! If you’ve always dreamt of the “at the birth” experience, then that is what you should do! Just do us all a favor and don’t demand everyone else do it your way.