Do any of us really?
I mean, I get that there isn’t a clear answer. Each of us is different. But I think that we can all agree that motherhood is a thankless, isolating and exhausting job.
You spend the baby days bored and wondering what all the fuss is about. You’re not spending your days on cloud nine reveling in the angelic glow of your child. Yes, there are moments, and that is how we get through the rest of the time. You know, those moments when you’re isolated, lonely and left with nothing left to do except poke the flabby skin that is now your midsection.
The time just before you realize that this is it. This is your life now. Then you embrace the mom jeans and tattered shirts, pick yourself up and schedule a baby playdate to help “enrich your child’s social skills.” Or rather, pray that all the other moms out there are feeling as lonely as you.
Then as you move to toddler time, it gets…well, different. Not easier, but, yes, easier in some ways. Rather than care taker, you’ve graduated to parent. There’s yelling (yes, you will yell) and accidents and potty training. All the fun. But you get to see a little more personality and joy from this amazing little being. So, it’s easier, but at no point is there a “thank you” or “good job.” Nothing that might make you feel a bump of self esteem. In fact, the best most validating moments are when you are with your angels at the grocery and someone else is dealing with a meltdown! That’s when you stop and think, not “OMG, look at those kids!” but rather, “oh THANK GOD! It’s not just my kids! It’s not me!”
So before you go thinking that you’re unlike those moms, stop and consider if those moms even exist. We all feel that we have put our lives on hold. We all think what we could do for a bit of independence from time to time. Consider if there’s a way we can have it all. There are no those moms. It’s only each and every one of us struggling everyday to find the joy in the little things and trying to balance personal identity and MOM.