Aren’t we ALL one of “those moms?”

I heard someone say something today that made me think. A mother claimed that she was unhappy staying home with her child because “she just wasn’t one of those moms who derived self satisfaction or self esteem from staying home.”

Do any of us really?

I mean, I get that there isn’t a clear answer. Each of us is different. But I think that we can all agree that motherhood is a thankless, isolating and exhausting job.

You spend the baby days bored and wondering what all the fuss is about. You’re not spending your days on cloud nine reveling in the angelic glow of your child. Yes, there are moments, and that is how we get through the rest of the time. You know, those moments when you’re isolated, lonely and left with nothing left to do except poke the flabby skin that is now your midsection.

Don’t we all go through a bit of the baby blues?son

The time just before you realize that this is it. This is your life now. Then you embrace the mom jeans and tattered shirts, pick yourself up and schedule a baby playdate to help “enrich your child’s social skills.” Or rather, pray that all the other moms out there are feeling as lonely as you.

Then as you move to toddler time, it gets…well, different. Not easier, but, yes, easier in some ways. Rather than care taker, you’ve graduated to parent. There’s yelling (yes, you will yell) and accidents and potty training. All the fun. But you get to see a little more personality and joy from this amazing little being. So, it’s easier, but at no point is there a “thank you” or “good job.” Nothing that might make you feel a bump of self esteem. In fact, the best most validating moments are when you are with your angels at the grocery and someone else is dealing with a meltdown! That’s when you stop and think, not “OMG, look at those kids!” but rather, “oh THANK GOD! It’s not just my kids! It’s not me!”

So before you go thinking that you’re unlike those moms, stop and consider if those moms even exist. We all feel that we have put our lives on hold. We all think what we could do for a bit of independence from time to time. Consider if there’s a way we can have it all. There are no those moms. It’s only each and every one of us struggling everyday to find the joy in the little things and trying to balance personal identity and MOM.

Jamie Centner

familyJamie is a stay at home mom to her two vivacious boys, AJ and Christian. After nearly 10 years of marriage and overcoming several adversities as a couple, including the devastation of hurricane Katrina and the tragedies at Columbine High School, the duo have learned the importance of living life to the fullest. Jamie’s love for New Orleans grew as she watched the city recover from Katrina. After nearly two years spent living in New York City, she couldn’t be happier about their decision to raise their children immersed in the rich New Orleans culture. Jamie earned a BA in English/writing at the University of Colorado and recently began exploring her passion once again.


  1. Jamie, I loved this post! You are so right that we have ALL been on both sides of the coin: dealing with the tantrum at the store and thanking our toddler profusely that it is not him this time. So glad you’re getting back into writing – you are talented!

    • Thanks for giving me the opportunity to share my post! This was a great experience! You are such a supportive group! Look forward to see you all again at the next mno!

  2. Great post! You are so right, we are all “that whacko mom” sometimes, or “that perfect mom” sometimes. It’s just day to day, and we need to stop being so hard on ourselves and just embrace it all!

    • Mariann, you’re so right! I once saw a quote that said, “girls compete with one another, while women support and encourage each other!” I couldn’t agree more! We all do our best and love our children more than we ever knew possible. I just hope that I have more great days in the end! 😉

    • Thank you,Cindy. Cherish the baby moments, you’ll never get them back and once they’re gone, you’ll yearn for them. That being said, toddlers are the most frustrating and side splitting hilarious people you will ever encounter! 😉 fun times ahead!


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